Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what do i do?

i have an order of protection for my daughter against my soon to be exhusband. weve shared the same church for 3 yrs but i feel like he only goes to see her, he only went for the apperance not the relationship with God. hes not a bad father just a really bad husband... can i make him leave the church or should i... what do i do??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (19)
  • If he is in violation of the order of protection, then call the law. That's a court offense. Other than that, if he's not bothering her or harassing you, leave it alone for God to deal with why he's there.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:58 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • if hes not a bad father why do you have an order of protection for her? is it to keep him away from you or from her? as far as making him leave the church, thats really your call, if you aren't comfortable with him there i'd say its kinda like the splitting of friends when a relationship ends,if it was your church first he should leave if it was his you should. if you both attended the church together its really not fair to make him leave it going off just what you've said here.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:59 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Does your church offer services at different times? If they do, try changing it up and going at different times so he won't be there at the same time you are. Then you won't have to worry about either of you leaving.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • You cant make him leave the church, you dont have that power. I dont think its wrong for him to go to see his child, at least he wants to see her. Thats a judgment call on your part, even if youre right. You can sit down with him, if thats possible and try to come to an agreement about it, but I think he has a right to go where he wants. My aunt always said that when she divorced, her ex got custody of the church. It made her sick the way the people there gawked over him and had no clue what the truth was because he told them all lies. I do understand your frustration, but the only way to resolve this is to sit down with him. As people of faith, both of you should be able to do that, right? Im so sorry for your frustration.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:59 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Is he causing problems at church? If not then it's a good neutral location for him to spend time wiht her. His motive for being there may not be pure but God has a way of affecting people even when they don't expect it. God is seeking people for a relationship with Him. So God might just draw your ex to him through this time.

    But if he is causing problems or you genuinely fear for yourself or your child then you should go to the senior pastor and ask them to ask him to leave. You have the legal right.

    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 11:00 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • that is a violation of that order. i would hate to leave my church. maybe if you talked to your pastor/priest about it. i would try to just not attend services for a month or so and see if he stops going, then resume attending. a church family should understand. if you are going to church and do not have some sort of relationship with some of the people there, then maybe you should look for somewhere else. i have always atttended churches and formed relationships with the people, that is part of a church family.
    MissHeidi0304

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 11:00 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • well since im asking private he would beat me... i did this so when it came time for custody i can have full custody of her... i dont think he will ever hit her but you never know... i dont know what else to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • order of protection for him against seeing daughter but you say he is a good father
    ???
    i am confused

    guess i would need to know why he can not see his daughter, 'they' did not do this lightly, must be a good reason
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 11:02 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • you said something untrue so you can have full custody????
    i am getting this correct
    ???
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 11:03 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • go with whatever your gut says, go to a different time or continue to go and if you feel threatened by him being there call the police.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:04 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.