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Difference of opinion in my house - picking up the baby when she cries.....

First let me say that I have a really "good" baby she is 3 months old (like there is a "bad" baby!) she is not particularly fussy or cranky she is a happy girl most of the time. I have gone back to work and DH works as well so I do not get to spend much time with my girl during the week except when I get home from work.
I was upstairs last night and DH was watching the baby while I paid bills, she was crying ...and she kept cryingg...I kept thinking that she would stop any second because he would be comforting her. Well it did not stop so I went downstairs, she is in the swing and he is watching tv and talking to her while she cries. I had meltdown. He informed me that you "can't pick a baby up every time they cry or they will get spoiled" What do you girls think? I think that if I am able to stop her from crying because she needs a cuddle then I should.

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chefronswife

Asked by chefronswife at 11:24 AM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 15 (2,045 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think she's too young for that philosophy. Also it's not that you absolutely don't pick them up, it's ok to let them cry for a few minutes but if she was crying for longer than 5 minutes he should have picked her up because at her age by that time if she hasn't quieted down on her own she needs something and she's not going to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • BABIES THIS YOUNG CRY FOR A REASON WETHER IS BECAUSE THEY NEED THAT CUDDLE, WET DIAPER, HUNGRY OR WHATEVER, THIS IS THEIR WAY TO GET ATTENTION, AND I TOTALLY AGREE WITH PICKING HER UP FOR A CUDDLE OR JUST FOR COMFORT, FOLLOW YOUR HEART ON THIS ONE IT WILL NOT LEAD YOU WRONG!
    older

    Answer by older at 11:31 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Hmm...

    I agree with both of you.

    While he's right, you can't pick them up every time they cry... she's only 3 months. And at 3 months, she's crying because she needs something. However, if he wasn't completely ignoring her, and he was talking to her, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

    I do think you over reacted a little bit.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 11:32 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • You and your hubby sound like us! LOL Yes, at this age, pick her up. When she's a little older, say crawling, she can tough it out for a few minutes!
    mevxoxo

    Answer by mevxoxo at 11:36 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • While I agree with him, I also think 3 months is a bit young for that. He really should have tried to comfort her. Maybe she's hungry or maybe something in the swing or the way she is sittign is hurting her. If he tried to comfort her and nothing worked, then I'd let her cry a bit to see if she'd clam down on her own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • i think its 4 or 5 months where they can start getting spoiled at 3 months yes she needs to learn to be on her own her a bit. was she actully crying or jsut fussing if she was just fussing then hubby was right if she was crying he little eyes out then you were right
    jajamama

    Answer by jajamama at 11:37 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • don't worry about spoiling. babies don't have the logic or reasoning to be manipulative. their wants are their needs and they NEED attention. When DD was about 6 weeks, I was trying to fix dinner and DH was sitting watching tv while DD was crying in her bouncer... finally went off on him and said "WTF is wrong with you that you don't have the instinct to attend to your crying flesh and blood???!" Straightened his ass out. lol.
    Kat770

    Answer by Kat770 at 12:39 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I held Emi for the first 3 months of life. She's 10 months old now and will sit and play by herself for an hour. You CANNOT spoil kids with love. I've always responded to her cries. ALWAYS. And she's well on her way to a happy, healthy, independent toddler. YOU'RE the mom. Go with your gut.
    Arisce

    Answer by Arisce at 12:41 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE SPOILED! A 3 mo. old has no concept of "getting what she wants" or being spoiled, etc. You need to pick up your baby when she is crying. You'll know when its time to start cutting some of that out. With mine it was a look in her eyes (you know - the "I won" look) around 8 mo. You'll get to know the difference in cries as baby gets older but 3 mo. is way too early.
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 1:50 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • "WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE SPOILED! A 3 mo. old has no concept of "getting what she wants" or being spoiled, etc. You need to pick up your baby when she is crying. You'll know when its time to start cutting some of that out. With mine it was a look in her eyes (you know - the "I won" look) around 8 mo. You'll get to know the difference in cries as baby gets older but 3 mo. is way too early."

    I couldn't agree more.
    Skye-Angel

    Answer by Skye-Angel at 2:08 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

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