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How do I say NO?

My mother-in-law just got evicted from her apartment for not paying her rent. My hubby wants to bring her to live with us and while he says this in the same breath he says he know she is a depressed, negative, and vindictive person. He thinks we can help her because we are "better people". She has made some terrible choices and put herself into this situation with her choices. There are 2 other son's but according to her they are no longer her children because they have either done or said something she did not appreciate or they showed dis-respect, she has completely written them off, even in legal documents. We have a soon to be 8 yr old little girl, I am really afraid of the influence this could have on her. Please...any advice is greatly appreciated!

 
Noosa

Asked by Noosa at 11:43 AM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,483 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Don't do it. Sometimes there is IRREVERSIBLE damage. I got in a big argument with my MIL and things have never been the same since. You and your hubby will be the next ones to be written off. You need your space, trust me. Don't expose your daughter like that. It is one thing to be close to her, it is another to have her living in YOUR space. How will you ever tell her to get out without causing a huge family issue? Say no now and save yourself some trouble in the future. Maybe talk to hubby and ask how you can help your MIL. Maybe offer to try to earn a little money to help her for a few months- like do some housekeeping or have your hubby take a pizza delivery job or something in the evenings. Do ANYTHING to keep her out of your house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • she has to WANT to change. I would say no. She is a grown woman and obviously has no discipline to pay bills so if she moves in with you, you can expect for her to be there for the rest of her life.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:46 AM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Does she have anywhere else to go?
    MommyKKay

    Answer by MommyKKay at 12:16 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • This is deffinatly rough. Start by explaining to your DH exactly what you told us. And its not that you dont WANT her its that its not best for you DD. He needs to understand that because of the way his mom is and things she does it can set a bad example for your DD. And it doesnt help that kids are SPONGES!! The bottom line is that this is not a good situation for your child. Perhaps suggest that you help her find a new apartment but this time you watch out for her. Like make sure she is paying her bills and what not. I hope this helped? Good luck
    xomommy25

    Answer by xomommy25 at 12:27 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • NO don't do it. Your daughter must be your first priority
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • NO NO NO. I wouldn't want to live with my MIL regardless of how great a person she is. Your married with a child. Why would you want too add any more people to the household ( unless more kids) It would just be a lot of added stress to your life. More bills, more people to get on your nerves. Tell him no. Shes an Adult, her children are all grown adults. Let her be responsible and figure things out for herself.
    andrea_smkns

    Answer by andrea_smkns at 11:10 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Have a discussion with her. Lay down some ground rules and if she objects to any of them and u see no way to compromise then tell her no. It's ur house and if she has nowhere else to go then she has to abide by ur wishes. Beggers can't be choosers.
    prcd_n_tatd

    Answer by prcd_n_tatd at 11:40 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

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