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i don't want to be fake..

How do i open up to people? i recently joined a group for women and it's so hard for me to be myself.. i'm so shy and quiet.. i'm afraid of saying something stupid.. this is a christian group of women also and my husband and i just started trying to live a christian life and i was not raised in church and know nothing about the subject and these women are talking Godly things and i just have nothing in common with none of them.. my family was very redneck.. all i have to talk about is my drug addict mom, my grandather the molestor, my brother the schitophrenic... maybe i shouldn't go on.. i'm just saying these women seem like they came from really good homes and have a really good life now and i'm just sooo different.. i want that life, but i'm not there yet.. how can i feel comfortable around them without being fake?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You answered your own question .... the SEEM like they have it all together - Darling, do you realize that you just did open up? I know how hard it can be in a group setting - and sometimes it turns out that that particular group may not be for you. Your background is not what God is looking for and shouldn't be what these women are looking for either. Your hearts desire is what's important. Please, keep in mind that if this isn't the group for you - there are other groups - so don't stop trying. I know what you mean about your life and background and feeling shy about opening up - I've had those very same feelings. God will guide you - just look to Him and tell Him what you just told us.... He has a much better answer than we could ever come up with.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 1:52 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I would start by asking questions. Then, remember that your experiences, while you believe them to be a hindrance to you here, might actually be a benefit. These women might need to hear some of what you've gone through - for you to share you own personal testimony might speak volumes to them. We are all at different stages of our relationships with Christ - don't let your fear hurt that. Remember that these women are here for you as well, and chances are, they WANT to know you and what brought you to God.

    And I love what PaceMyself just said as well - beautifully stated.

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 2:02 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • You don't need to be fake to get people to like you. Everyone has a unique story about how they came to Christ and God uses everyone and meets us all where we are. You will find some people who speak in what I call Christianese and try to act more holy than they are, but you don't need to impress them. God loves you for who you are and his people should too. Just be yourself and people will be drawn to your genuine spirit.


    Answer by cleanaturalady at 2:07 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Be who you are, a child of God, blessed, highly favored and loved! Its the heart we look at, the desire to grow, to learn, to be all God is called us to be! Your past does not dictate who you are, that is not where your identity is. Your identity is in Christ Jesus. I am shy and quiet too. I barely talk off line, I have a harder time sharing my heart verbally but I do well in written form! LOL I am more of an observer when I am around people offline! Partly due to my hearing impairment and partly to do with my personality. I have a quiet and gentle personality. :-) ( altho my family may not think so I am a lil rough which is being worked on Praise God) So don't think other women have it together.. most don't! We are all a work in process but some of us choose to dwell in His presence rather than in the circumstances of life! That is what the Shadow of His Wings are, the place of rest , love, mercy and grace! :-)

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 2:18 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • It may be hard, but if you are rally wanting to learn and have a Godly life and these ladies seem to be Godly women they can probably help you become a stronger Christian :) At first share your longing to learn and be close to God, and as they help you with that you can share more if you feel the need to. As women of God they should be happy to be your friend and help you learn, if they aren't, find a different group.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Just be who you are.
    we all sound stupid sometimes.
    It is a journey and God will walk right with you.
    Be strong in the Lord and read His Word always prayerful and giving God all the glory when you see what you are looking for.
    Bless you!

    Answer by bloodbought at 5:04 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I remember being in the exact same situation. I felt so weird around people who grew up in the church and knew the Bible and they were so smart. But just be yourself!!! God chose you!!! He loves you, and you are part of the family. I am just so happy that you want to grow and meet other Christians. I am praying that God blesses you and helps you find a group where you feel loved and encouraged!!!

    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 5:55 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • great answers everyone.. :) i dont know what to add to that LOL.. I will leave it as i agree with all of you

    Answer by hinson7169 at 6:08 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • You may also find it easier to open up when the discussion is over. Often the discussion itself tends to lead to indepth spiritual topics which you may not yet be ready to enter into. But what about before hand? I've learned that the best way to get to know people is to start before the study or discussion and talk to them about everyday stuff.
    "hi I'm Kim how are you today?" and then listen and take the conversation from there. Talk about everyday stuff, like what your kid did at school or how work is going, the stuff that we all share in common. That way people will get to know you as a person also, not just a new person learning the Bible.

    Answer by teamquinn at 7:43 PM on Aug. 19, 2009