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how can i controll school behavior?

MY3RD GRADER IS ACTING UP IN SCHOOL. THE TEACHER DESCRIBES IT AS BEING BOSS TO OTHER KIDS. SHE POUTS WHEN TOLD ABOUT HER BEHAVIOR. SHE ALWAYS WANTS THINGS TO GO HER WAY. NOTE: SHE IS AN ONLY CHILD.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • Have a talk with her and tell her that her behavior is not acceptable and that if she doesn't straighten up at school she's going to face consequences at home. Tell her that you'll be watching her. Then make it a point to pop up in her class a few times (as a school visitor) but call her teacher first and let her know that you plan on backing her up and helping her enforce the proper classroom social behavior. The teacher will appreciate it - and she'll know when you pop in just exactly why you're there. I had to do this with my youngest - it's took less than 4 visits to convince him that I was serious and that he would NEVER know when Mommy was watching. It worked. I then became an advocate for parent/teacher relationships and cooperation . The second year, my sons school worked with me in promoting the concept - from then on - parents were welcomed to help monitor classroom and playground behavior.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 3:18 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Work with the teacher to set up a daily report, she can just put a happy face if your daughter does well, or a sad face if she had problems that day on a piece of paper with her initials. Then have a small reward each day for good behavior. If she collects a certain number of happy faces have a larger reward. I made a chart for my boys. In the morning they would pick a reward that they would like that day. Sometimes it was going to the park after school, playing a game with mom or dad, picking a special desert, that kind of thing, & if they knew what they were working for, that made them think about it at school during the day, if they brought home a good note they put a sticker in the square for that day. If they earned 10 stickers, they got a bigger reward, & we would cut out a picture of what that reward would be & put it near the chart to remind them. I will warn you it worked great for my middle son, not the oldest.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 3:32 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • sounds like a case of only child syndrome (not a real syndrome of course). if you're spoiling her, stop now, make it clear that she can't always have her way. maybe some parenting books would help.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 4:12 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I have an only son who had this same "problem" in quotes because some teachers saw it as bossy others as leadership- LOL! Talk to your DD about the other kids reactions when she tells them what to do, help her see that others need to make decisions sometimes too. It is just what the are used to, onlies aren't used to someone else making play rules and decisions, they have to learn it with friends, children with siblings learn it at home and much faster becuase it is a constant. As my son got older he learned if he made friends with youngest children they were so used to someone else making the decisions they actually liked his leadership, not really teaching DS a lesson, but they were both happy.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 4:38 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I have a son who is an only child he is well behaved at school and everywhere else. You need to make sure to stop spoiling her and to discipline. She clearly knows nothing will happen if she misbehaves so she pushes it. Kids that know there will always be a consequence for their actions do in time learn to behave. Don't even blame it on her being an only child most only children are well behaved, more mature than other kids and do well in school. Your daughter could have siblings and still would be this way because of what you must allow her to get away with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

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