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15 and an adult?

My 15 year old step son all the sudden thinks he is a grownup and can do what he pleases when he pleases. He thinks he is entitled to smoke, have a beer, and come and go anytime of the day.
He uses the aurgument that his dad was 16 when he had him and he was a grownup at 16 and was allowed to do what he wanted to, so why shouldn't he? This has become a power struggle in our home every day.
Is this a normal type of thing that kids go through in their toddler and teen years? What is the best way to handle it?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • take everything away but the absolute basics. 2 changes of clothes,1 towel 1 wash cloth,1 bar/bottle of soap, 1 alarm clock, 1 bed with 1 set of sheets,1tooth brush and 1 tube of toothpaste, 1 bottle of laundry detergent. for food keep it very simple and plain (peanut butter sandwiches,healthy cereal,apples etc). no phones,cell phones, tvs, vcrs, dvds,computers, video games(systems or hand held), no car no allowance.lock it all up. You are feeding him clothing him and giving him shelter and health care that is all that is required of you the rest is just extras. If he want the extras he can get a job and pay for them. Remember Its your house your rules even if he pays rent you own the home! goodluck!
    hypersquirrel

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 5:40 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Do you have any friends/family with a baby? Leave him with the baby and only $20 for the week. Tell him he has to buy diapers, food, etc. and take care of the child w/o any help from anyone else. Maybe that's snap some sense into him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I think it is normal (keep in mnd my son is 13 months lol) but you have to take control now! its your house not his. I bet you bought all his things , start taking them away and if he is a "grown up" he can pay rent , part of the food bill, ect ....... my aunt let this behavior go unchecked and now her son is a 22 year old herion addict who has totaled 3 of there cars , put them thousand of dollars in dept and is slow causing both his parents to go mad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • yea, tell him if he's really an adult then he can get a job, pay rent $400/month and buy his own food/toiletries/clothing/gas/phone.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 3:51 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • i agree with the tell him to get a job and pay rent, and all the bills and figure out how hard it is
    Missy_Dye

    Answer by Missy_Dye at 3:55 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • take away all possessions he has not paid for himself, provide only shelter and bread/water for him (so your providing what is needed to not be considered neglect) and tell him if he wants more to get a job and pay for it back. He needs tough love. Trust me it works. He will thank you later when you teach him responsibility and consequences of actions.

    If his friends start providing for him, then dont let him use the phone, internet, etc. he cant have contact unless he pays for those too.
    Ginanne

    Answer by Ginanne at 3:56 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • lock his ass in a closet until he learns not to sass ya.

    But seriously, take away all of his stuff and tell him to get a job.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Oh yes and dont forget to take him shopping at the thrift store for his new back to school wardrobe. after all its clothes and as long as he is clothed it doesnt matter what store they come from.
    hypersquirrel

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 5:42 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

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