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Wrong to not get married?

Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We have a 14 month old baby together (which was unplanned) and are talking about having another one. We live together, we love each other, and we both want to be together forever, but every time I bring up having another baby people tell me that we need to get married before we start talking about having another baby. I just don't know if I ever really want to get married. What do you guys think?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • It's up to you. But marriage can be very helpful from the legal side. should you die, he automatically gets your stuff. There's a tax benefit.

    It's also a pain if you split, but then if you love each other and are having kids, then that shouldn't be a problem, right?

    Some states also have common law marriages which binds you based on how long you have lived together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • My SO and I have been together for 13 years. Off and on (more off than on until 4 years ago) Now we have two beautiful kids and no plans of marriage. I would love to cuz you dream about it as a little girl ya know? But I am ok with not fixing anything if it's not broke.
    jenree33

    Answer by jenree33 at 3:50 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I think you should do what you want. I have a baby and am in a "normal" healthy loving relationship with her father. Do what makes u happy girl! Who cares what everyone else thinks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I agree with anonymous 3:50, I am happily married and probably wouldnt have lasted with my husband 11 years if I wasn't married but that is my personal preference. If you're relationship is great and you are happy then do just that...what makes you happy!
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 3:56 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I'm a little older than you guys probably are, I've been married 21 years. I do agree that you should do what makes you happy, however, it does have social affects...whether it should or not. I don't think I would have had kids without being married. Generally, other people have more respect for your relationship when you are actually married.....other women in particular. It means that you were both willing to make a legal lifetime commitment to the other person. And even though there is a high divorce rate, it does mean you have to stop and think, you can't just pack your suitcase and walk away from the relationship there' s too much more involved. I also think it gives kids a little more security in their life. Yes, people should respect your relationship anyway, but they should respect our personal property and we still have to lock our cars and homes.

    For me personally, I would want to be married.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:00 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I guess my issue is that my parents ask me when we are getting married, my co workers as me when we are getting married, my friends ask me when we are getting married, it makes me feel like everyone is looking down on me, how do I tell them we aren't going to get married (at least not in the near future) without being rude or sounding like an idiot?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • yell them that! (just like i do) say in a nice, sweet tone, with a smile "someday". :)
    its really none of their buisness anyways!
    But i feel ya becaus eim in the same boat. But very happy the way things are..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • lol tell, not yell haha. that wouldnt be good ;)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I think most of these people are trying to look out for your best interest. As a parent, I'd feel that the guy wasn't that committed to my daughter if he had a baby with her and didn't marry her. Whether we are right or not, that's probably what your parents and friends are thinking. I'm sure it's not you they think less of, but your boyfriend.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:04 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Is it just me or does anyone else see it as just a "piece of paper"? My biggest reason for not getting married was my (now) DH had a lot of debt. I didn't want to aquire his debt. I wanted to be able to buy a house. Maybe that sounds bad, but we were happy. The only reason we ended up getting married was to get benefits! My work didn't offer insurance, his did.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

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