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If you were him, how would you feel?

i'm 31 wks or so along and i don't want to call his (baby) father (matt) when i go into labor (mom is helping me, i moved back in w/ her after matt's dog bit me).
reasons i do not want him at the hospital...he's always got something rude to say/ he doesn't even think baby is his (i know for a fact that he's his)/ he talks crap about my family to my face when i tell him not to/ he talks crap about babys name (elijah)/ overall he's become the most difficult person to deal with since he got me preg

 
mandielynn23

Asked by mandielynn23 at 4:26 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 19 (6,641 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Thats a 100% your choice. If he is really being a jerk, I wouldn't bother. No matter what happened between you two you are having his child. If he doesn't respect you you don't have to respect him. My cousin thought she was doing the right thing by letting her son father in the room while there son was born and everything was fine for that (she even admitted how impressed she was how much he really helped her) but the next night he was escorted out by the police.
    It was just a really humialting sitution at a time that should have been beautiful.
    Jillybeans24

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 4:36 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • If he's that difficult, he probably won't give a darn.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:27 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • i want to wait till i come home to call him, and i don't want him on the BC (i don't want him to be there to sign the BC) , i want baby to have my last name. i just don't love him anymore so don't bash me.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 4:28 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Not bashing you, but I want to point out that whether or not you love him has nothing to do with him being the father of your child. Make your decision based on what's best for your child. Maybe what's best for you in this situation is indeed the same thing as what's best for your child. I don't know, I can't answer that. But it sounds like you probably need to accept that fact that this is HIS baby, too, unless he opts to relinquish his parental rights. If he wants to be there and wants to be on the BC, it seems deceptive to intentionally deny him that, and it frankly makes you look pretty bad if a custody issue ever goes to court. But, as I said, if his presence will be so toxic that it would have a negative impact on you and baby, well, that's an issue to be considered.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • may not what the baby to have his last name but it IS HIS CHILD no matter how much you HATE him the father has rights to his child, and your child did nothing wrong and deserves to have both parents even if single parents at least they have both parents.. did you give him any choice to the child's name? it seems VERY one sided in that relationships like you were the panties and the pants
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • it sounds like i wouldn't want him there either.

    you might know better than me but i am pretty sure his name can be on the BC and baby can have your last name. if it were me, i would agree 100% have the baby have your last name but i would want him on the BC for child support purposes.

    good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • thanks jillybean, that's exactly what my mom & i are worried about, humilation.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 4:38 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • ANON 4:37~i don't want him to have custody rights because my child doesn't deserve to crawl around on carpet that is stained with dog urine and also doesn't deserve to ride in a dirty work truck that smells like gas (that is his only form of transportation) he does give me money every week anyway and if he stops my mom will help me anyway.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 4:43 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Does he WANT to come? If so, then call him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • whether or not he is the baby daddy, the labor and delivery part of this experience needs to be as calm as possible for you. if you feel bad that he won't see his child born, have your labor partner tape the birth and he can watch later. Since you are not married, the baby's last name is your choice, even if the dad is on the certificate. And you don't have to put him on the certificate, but he is the father and I think that it might be a good idea to put him on it for your son's sake. just my opinion, but give it some thought.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 4:48 PM on Aug. 19, 2009