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Stepmoms: my new full-time stepdaughter likes to play house where I'm the mommy and she's the baby. Her mom has been dealing with drug addiction for several years and is in and out of the picture, currently out. Is it normal for her to want to play this game, or is it damaging to her if she's projecting her desire for her bio mom through the game?

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Asked by valfal at 5:19 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • I always played house..but I usually wanted to be the Mom. How old is she?


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Playing house up to age 10 is absolutely normal. There is a real possibility this child is crying out for love, comfort and security. It does not harm her to play the baby. Lots and lots of reassurance and hands on hugs will go a long way into helping her feel safe.
    I am raising 2 that continue to fight the damage of neglect and abuse. They have been with us almost 5 years now. It is better..but it is a slow process.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:38 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • She's four. I always played house too...but she seems to most of the time want me to be the 'mommy'. I just don't want to confuse her, and we like to play, but also I want to be aware of any "abandonment issues" as they arise with this situation, because they definitely will!

    Answer by valfal at 5:39 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • you probably ARE her mommy while bm is her mom. Just make her happy. She can figure it all out when she grows up or when mom gets clean

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:40 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • playing house at this age is perfectly normal. The fact that she always want to be the baby and wants you being the mommy isnt necessarilly a bad thing. I dont think that any issues will come from playing a game. If anything its healthy and good!! Her Bio mom isnt there for her but as silly as it may sound just by playing with her,to her thats being there. Just love her and be there. I would only get concerned if something comes up during play that seems simillar to real problems in real life she is going throguh with her bio mom. Good Luck

    Answer by xomommy25 at 6:31 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I went thru this w/ my fiances 4 year old daughter,she too has a drug addict mom who hasnt been around since she was 1.5, i have a son whos 2. She would say " Im pretending that your mine and noahs' mommy"... that was in the beginning... I would just smile and go along with it. As long as your not forcing anything upon her i feel its ok for her to want to say "mommy" out loud, shes yerning for that connection and that relationship... so she does it thru pretending... My fiances daughter now calls me "mom" first i wasnt totally comfortable with it, but I now embrace it. Bless her little heart and thank god shes has you as a stable female figure in her life.

    Answer by heatherette07 at 7:33 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I am a full time custodial step Mama & my SS says the same thing to me sometimes. We've played that game since he was 2 and he will be 4 in January. Daddy used to ask him to be his "baby" and he would say no & giggle but, when he asked if he wanted to be my "baby"  he said yes and ran to me. We've played the game ever since, but it has evolved, before he used to make cute baby faces & now he just "cries" really loud because he loves to annoy me, lol. I think it's perfectly normal & in her case probably very resourceful of her to get her needs met through playing. I wouldn't worry just play & have fun!


    Answer by BubbaLuva at 12:36 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Why does it have to be anything other than a game? It's sad she's had to deal with things, but why can't she just be a kid who wants to play a game of house?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

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