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What are your opinions of self-defense for your child at school?

Here we are in a hypothetical discussion last night between my SO and I. He thinks that if some kid at school hits our twins they are suppose to punch back. I disagree. I think that they should tell the teacher or whomever is in charge when it happens. He thinks that violence is the answer, I think that they need to learn self-control and that they don't need to slam a kids head into the ground to prove a point. I also told him that just because he thinks our kids are "immortal" so to speak, doesn't mean that they won't get the crap kicked out of them if they do retaliate.

I wonder at what point a child has a right to attack a bully. Do you let the school handle it and if they don't and your kid comes home with a ripped shirt one day do you then tell your kid to take action against a bully? Where is the compromise(if there is one) here?

I'm just curious about your thoughts on this topic. Even if you don't agree.

Answer Question

Asked by CinderAmethyst at 5:55 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If someone hits my daughter she can hit them back, and I hope she will.
    Same with my son!

    She will only be 2 and hes only 3 weeks old, I have awhile before they go to school lol. :)

    Answer by kframpton at 6:08 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I think this can purely be a situational circumstance.

    If a kid steals another kids pencil, then I think that's a situation to tell the teacher. If they hit, I think instead of instantly hitting back, a teacher should be notified. But a kid is only going to take so much bullying.

    When my little brother was in 6th grade he got choked by another kid back in the coat closet...and he punched the kid in the face to get him off of him...what was he supposed to do? He did get suspended from school for that day...but my parents were pretty upset. He was defending himself...BUT most of the time they have NO tolerance policy, so it doesn't matter.

    I think they should be able to defend themselves.

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 6:11 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Actually I think it's important to retaliate. do i approve of violence? of course not. but how many kids have committed suicide, or shot up their school, because of being bullied? I believe that if they felt empowered to do something about it such as hitting back (running to the teacher often makes bullying worse), then they wouldn't feel helpless, maybe they wouldn't become depressed and commit suicide, and maybe they won't feel the need to empower themselves by arming themselves with a loaded weapon.

    Answer by treehugger823 at 6:42 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I think the first time they are provoked to fight they should tell the teacher, the second time they should tell an administrator. After that they should fight back. They have exhausted all other options and gotten no results.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:46 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • No way...I dont want my kids hitting back I want them notifying the authroties...Of course if it keeps happeneing its a different story!

    Answer by NIKKIANDYBABY at 8:32 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Thanks for all your advice here. I guess maybe I need to change my attitude about this issue. My older son got the crap beat out of him for the longest time, until one day he had enough and he wailed on the kid and after that kids pretty much left him alone. He's taller than me now at 17 and I don't have to worry about him as much as I did when he was younger.

    I just get tired of hearing their dad say "kick his asssss!" when he talks about school bullies(if they have one). They are 5, why teach them at 5 to kick some kids ass(and why not say kick their butts??) I don't get it.

    I do understand all your points though. Thanks again.

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 10:57 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • We tried the "correct" way first. My son is a trained fighter, he was been studying different Martial Arts for a long like and at the age of 12 he was training with adults, with out pads. He has been told time ad again to use fighting as a last option, but it is an option. This kid decided he didn't like my son and set out to make him miserable. After the school tried to punish my child for the other kid giving him a black eye we had enough. We stood behind our son when the other kid hit him and he did not retaliate and the school wanted to punish him. When he did get the other kid back a few weeks later we still supported our son but had to let the school suspend him.

    I will not allow my children to be pushed or bullied by anyone. Again violence is not the first option but it is an option.


    Answer by littleredpony at 12:13 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

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