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How do I ask?

I have a bit of a crush on a guy that just recently moved into our community, but I am unsure of one major thing....if he's straight or gay. I'm totally embarrassed to just ask him, "Are you gay?" and I'm too embarrassed to ask one of our mutual friends....how can I go about asking him without seeming like a total idiot?!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Most of the time you can eventually tell if a parson is gay or straight. I do not see how you can not tell.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:56 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Well.... I guess you can make it an offhand type comment.
    Maybe tell him that one of your male friends is expressing interest, and he's just TOTALLY embarrassed to approach him - you don't have to say the name... because there is none. xD But, say something like... You wanted to help your friend out, put him out of his misery and he had begged you to ask if he 'swings that way.'
    If he doesn't, kind of laugh, and say 'well good!' and transition into asking him out for a cup of coffee. *shrugs*
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 6:58 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I am sure that after you get to know him and hang out a bit you will figure it out. See if you and your mutual friend can go grab a coffee or jamba juice or something (I am not much of a drinker) that way you can see how he responds to you.
    cynthiaesquivel

    Answer by cynthiaesquivel at 7:00 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Ask him out. You can start with something safe, like meeting you for coffee.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:00 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • In answer to "I don't see how you can not tell"...I happen to live in a community where there is a sanctuary for people who live alternative lifestyles....so the majority of the people I am around on a daily basis are people who are gay and bisexual....everything under the sun, really. My perception of it has gone a bit askew because I am used to it....and while he is friends with many of the same people I am, his dress and behavior isn't as extreme as a lot of them, and in the time I've been around him I haven't been able to "tell" one way or the other. I'm just unsure. -OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I'm just one that blurts it out...I'd be saying "OMG PLEASE tell me you are straight!" I like using humor. If you can't ask him then ask the friend.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:36 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • laughingp.s. if neither of those are good for you let me know and I'll call him for you!


    on phone

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:37 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Mention gays and ask him how he feels about them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • LoL admckenzie....maybe I'll just use that line! :) Love it!

    And to anon 5:41....I know how he FEELS about gays....he is friends with the same people I am!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Be friends with him first, just as you would for any guy. If eventually you feel romantic toward him, then by then you should have discussed other girls and guys enough that you'll know, or he'll come out to you, or not.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:09 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

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