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ok so i asked a question a few days ago, about if i was being unfair or not by telling my mom no that my kids (5 and 4) could not come to my stepfathers bday party because there would be drinking there and so on and so forth- well now i have another question

my mom will not talk to me and she hasn't since i told her no- now this sunday is my sons (the one turning 4) bday and saturday I am throwing a party for him and get this- my mom is so upset that i upset my stepfather by not going to his bday party that she has decided that (even though my son has asked her to be at his party) she will not be coming... now im so sick and tired of this woman putting this man before me- it has been going on since i was a little girl- but this is where i draw the line- i refuse to have her hurt my children in order to have "payback" for this man...would i be terribly wrong to cut ties with my mother now after years of this? (and im not talking about just this petty mess, when I was just about 17 she let him kick me out of the house because we werent getting along) this is getting to the point where im constantly depressed and over wut? absolute nonsense! so what do u think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Nope, your not wrong. I just wouldn't talk to her anymore. Do whats best for your kids.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:16 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • IMO I think you need to think of you and your kids first. I know some people won't agree with me, but when has that ever stopped me? I have relatives that I've cut off ties to, in fact when my husband finishes school and move away from here, where my MIL lives...we are planning on cutting off ties with her. She is a very toxic person and we don't feel we want to have the boys around her.

    So no, I don't think it's a bad thing. You need to choose what is best for your family, seems to me that your mom made her choice a long time ago. While it might make your son a bit unhappy in the short term, later on I know he'll understand if you make that decision.

    Good luck
    daisy521

    Answer by daisy521 at 9:17 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • your mom sounds very immature. Your kids come before any man!!
    I would not cut her off yet, but I would not call her everyday either. Just call once a couple of weeks for five minutes to see how she is doing and to tell her how your kids are doing,. Keep it short and sweet.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 9:22 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Your mom is trying to control and manipulate you with guilt. Just take care of your family and don't worry about her and wait for her to come around.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:34 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I would cut ties with her because she is such a toxic person.
    shadowsgrl09

    Answer by shadowsgrl09 at 9:54 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Your mother is trying to do/ "IS" doing to you, what my mother has done to me for years!
    She is "EMOTIONALLY" & "PSYCHOLOGICALLY" abusing you, & will continue to do so, if you DON"T draw the line & cut her off!!!
    I'm 48 years old & my mother still tries to this kind of crap. In fact so recent, that I actually had to hire an attorney to back her off.

    You have every right & responsibility to protect you & yours! Just like she should have done with you, against that man of hers.

    I know, that it hurts. I know that regardless of how your own Mom has treated you, that you still want her to be Mom.
    However, sometimes...it just won't happen. At least without too much heartache.

    Please...for your own sanity,maybe not right away, but years from now...stay away from her, & keep your childrens psyche in tact as well.
    My children despise my mother for what she has done to "ALL of US"!!!
    The emotional scares never heal!
    catysnanny

    Answer by catysnanny at 10:37 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • As a mom you need to think of your kids and put them first. So I do not think you are wrong for wanting to cut ties with this woman. I think it is very mean of her to deliberately not go to your sons party in an effort to 'get back' at you. Does she not realize the only person hurt will be your little boy?
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:03 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • i agree with all the other moms. you need to put your children first & you cant let her do to them what she has been doing to you.
    .Kelly.

    Answer by .Kelly. at 12:45 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

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