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Can someone HELP me get a handle on my 4 yr old????

Just had a baby 4 months ago and I am starting to thing my 4 yr old is feeling jealous. He seems to love and adore her ALL THE TIME. But just in this past week and a half, he has, colored his carpet with black permenant maker, snuck crystal light powder out of the kitchen and poured it on the carpet (red might i add) and wet it, leaving a red stain, colored on his pants, cut up pictures (when he was at a friends house) and today, managed to find a way to get into the medicine cabinet and spray choriseptic all over the walls and carpet!I can't believe this is even my kid! He has NEVER acted like this?? I know the first question from some will be, "who is watching him" that would be my younger sister as i'm having trouble finacially right now and cant afford anyone else. but seriously, never before has he acted so crazy! How in the world do I get him back on track? He has been punished every time & still seems to do these things

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • well first you need to have a talk w/your sister, at that age even though they know better when so many opportunities are there they will take them. then, make sure you spend one on one time with him, your sister as well. try to baby proof the place a bit so he can't get into those areas (maybe put a gate by the kitchen if one will fit that kinda thing) that way the opportunity isn't always open. really just she needs to pay more attention, thats a bit much for him to have done in the past few weeks...
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 9:19 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • sounds like he's trying to get attention in any way that he possibly can.. even if it is negative attention, atleast it's attention.... with the new baby it is probably hard to give him the attention that you use to, so try to set aside you and him time... make him feel special.. do little special things for him.. and let him know that its just for him.. maybe this will help...
    RykersMom07

    Answer by RykersMom07 at 9:21 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • You really have to know better when you aren't watching their every move that anything with powder or spray or tubes, is an absolute target that they are looking for the combination to unlock : ) Each thing in their path they see is something to look at first, then to touch, bang on the wall, throw, or spread all over, and the wall is the first thing they are apt to smear what ever they find all over.......LOL! Not funny, I know; it's like that in our house and probably typical anyplace. Until the sister is informed to pack anything that's destructable up high, and lock all the drawers, and only give her markers to have the 4 yr old play with that they wash off walls. That way you don't think punishment each time. Plus......... get some wipe off/ boards with wash-off markers. They are sold in most toy stores, drugstores, and mail orders. Put the crystal light stuff up really high. Make sure she hides all the sharp stuff
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Ugh. Really try to have special mommy time with him, totally separate of the baby. I had the same thing and called my sis for advice. She said that even though you want to just pummel him, this is the time to really love him more. Time set aside for the two of you shows you care and he'll remain top dog and not have the feeling he was replaced.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:35 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Maybe your sis is spending more time with the baby and not giving him enough attention.
    tcarter1981

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 10:45 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I agree with jeanclaudia. He needs lots of positive attention right now. One on one with you, and make sure you talk up how much he can do that the baby can't do, how big he is, all that. When the urge comes to misbehave, at age 4, he's not thinking ahead to punishments. Even when you are with the baby, make time for him, let him sit next to you and look at a book together.
    RedRowan

    Answer by RedRowan at 11:15 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Set aside, mommy son time, and plan for it. Have one day a week where you go on a special adventure just you and him. (It doesnt have to cost money, there are plenty of free things to do, especially local events and museums). Have him help plan it, like okay, this week what kind of adventure do we want to have just you and mommy. Also give him a baby doll. I know I know he is a boy. But doll play is excellent for children of any gender, it will help him to be more empathetic and it will help him to act out his frustrations in a more constructive way. Give him a baby doll (let him choose) and tell him he is that baby dolls daddy. (It can be an oscar the grouch doll whatever floats his boat). But let him take care of his baby while you take care of yours. It will allow him to feel included, more responsible and interactive. Let him help with things he can around the house.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 2:43 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • My two almost three year old gets diapers for sissy, puts things away, helps clean the dishes, wipes things down. Having chores makes her feel big and when she feels big she is more likely to act big. Lastly, when he makes a mess, dont just punish him but make him clean it up, (with supervision). Get on his level afterwards and ask him (calmly) why is this a bad thing to do? How can he fix it? Make him take responsibilty. My daughter when she gets upset, has learned to put herself in the corner bc it helps her calm down. Then she works to make it better after she gets out. Find what works for him but make sure he accepts responsibility for his actions and help him brainstorm plans to make it better. Hope I helped!
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 2:47 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • all about respect. be consistent. be stern. and take action immediatley
    courtneynicole1

    Answer by courtneynicole1 at 3:49 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

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