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Crappy family situation involving in laws, what can I do?

I'm going to be brief on details. My husband is one of nine kids. He didn't come from a happy family. His youngest brother is 14. A few months ago my MIL said jokingly that I should take Nik for the next school year and just keep him. Well, she wasn't joking. A few things about Nik:
-He's super smart. He's polite. He's a yes sir, yes m'am kid.
-He has a mean streak a mile long and has been kicked out of several schools, including military schools, for picking fights/beating the hell out of people, which is funny because he's tiny for his age
-He was/is severely abused and neglected. He's never seen a doctor, ever, his mom cites 'religious reasons' which is BS, and for some reason got him into public schools o.O
-While he'll beat the hell out of other kids, he can not tolerate being touched. Not even a handshake or a hug.
And now they want me to take him. Hubby is in Iraq, but we've both agreed. WTF do we do now?!

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Asked by Yoshi_Yoshi at 9:38 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • That's a tough one. I think I'd take him, just to get him out of that situation. He needs some place where he can feel safe. Do you get along with him? Maybe he'd really thrive in a safe and loving home.

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:42 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Counseling, for sure. Maybe the school can help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • I get along with him and my husband really gets along with him. We decided to take him just to get him out of his current home (my inlaws are insane) academically he's great, always been a straight A kid, but I'm worried about putting him in school if he's just going to get kicked out.

    Answer by Yoshi_Yoshi at 9:44 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Get him some counseling, for sure. And maybe anger management classes? I'm sure the school could help you find them. I think it is wonderful that you are going to take him. You are probably just what he needs.

    Answer by Guaranteed at 9:51 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • go talk to the school counselor and his teachers warn them that he has had issues in the past so you'd like for him to speak to the counselor maybe once a week or something. and that you need to be notified over the smallest things so you can take care of stuff before it gets bad.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 9:53 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • Oh wow, thats alot for a young man..... I cant imagine, but thank God you can and are taking him, thats terrible....... as for all his problems, take him to counseling, take him to a Dr, and talk to the school counselor. Explain his situation. OR is homeschooling him an option? That way you can have him in extra counseling and until he can tolerate a hug, maybe that would be a better option. Keep loving him, hopefully all works out well for you.

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 10:59 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • My advice? Get custody. Otherwise, you're going to pour your blood sweat and tears for his abusive family to just take him back and there won't be anything you can do.

    Answer by apexmommy at 11:02 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

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