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How can I help my depressed husband?

My husband and I have been apart for the last 7 months, while he was doing some job training.
We recently relocated, and just purchased a beautiful home, and now that we are all together again, he is very depressed.
I don't know what it is, and he won't talk about it, except to refer to himself as "pathetic". It is very much out of character for him.

Does anyone have any suggestions besides therapy or meds?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Aug. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Well... maybe he's just missing that "male" companionship when he was on the job training? Maybe?
    If there's a way that you can contact some buddies that he met, have a kind of.. reunion or "graduation party" that might help him out?

    It's kind of hard to pinpoint since he really won't talk about it. :[

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 11:48 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • He talks to the guys/ladies almost every day in some form. Maybe he does miss him. I didn't really think about that, because when he was gone, all he talked about was us all being together again. They are going to have a reunion next year, but they are all scattered thoughout the country.

    He has also been going to bed at 9pm, or as soon as I get the boys in bed, so when we have the opportunity to talk, he just lays in bed with the covers pulled up to his chin.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Aug. 19, 2009

  • He sounds seriously depressed. My dh is chronically depressed if you would like to chat, pm me, maybe I can share some ideas.
    This is the first time in our marriage that he has been able to go off his antidepressants.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:16 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Help him get help from a medical doctor or mental health clinic.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 12:49 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • My brother had serious depression for years and this sounds just like it. It got so bad for my brother that there was a solid year where he wouldn't even get out of bed or get off the couch all the was so hard to watch.

    Get you man to the doctor for a medical opinion to at least see if it is clinical depression. Encourage him and support him.

    For the rest, I think it's all about support. Give him a scalp massage, a shoulder rub, cook his favorite meal, make him hot chocolate without being asked, etc. Show him you care.

    Answer by Mousuke at 1:55 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Pray for your husband.

    Also, he may be disappointed in his choices that he has not yet shared or revealed to you. Do no make him feel any worse, but pray for him and help build him up - don't stop caring or showing him that you love him, but he does need to talk to you, because he is deeply struggling with something that he has disappointed himslef about.

    Let him know that you still love him and you are there for him - give him a little space and continue to pray!


    Answer by AUniqueMom at 2:00 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

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