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husbands and addiction

So my husband started taking oxycotins about 2 years ago. He says it started as a once a month thing. Then turned into an everyday thing. I thought something was going on. There were a lot of clues. I asked him several times over the years if he had been using anything. He always said no and I wanted to believe him. I knew but didn't know how to address the issue. Two weeks ago he finally told me. It was a long discussion. I even called his dealer and threatened reporting him if he ever answered my husbands calls. I can't believe this is my life! I had to call my husbands dealer!

My question is, has anyone been through this before? What did you do? How did you rebuild trust and confidence? I would like to work things out but I am not sure how. Any suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:54 AM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Definately reach out for help somewhere in the community, dont go at this alone. If you can afford counceling go or find a local church that can offer counceling and support sometimes free. Hang in there, we have dealt with some addiction in our family, it takes time to heal right now this is just so BIG but it will get better with time and help. Dont go at this alone.
    cynthiaesquivel

    Answer by cynthiaesquivel at 5:01 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Not with drugs, but I have a drinker. After 7yrs of bull I finally told him if he brings alcohol in the house I'd throw it away. He's super cheap and doesn't like to waste so he doesn't do it. Also, if he's mad and I think he might leave and go to the bar, I sneak his money and credit cards out of his wallet and hide them. Shouldn't have to get to that point and maybe I am a beach, but he knows I'm just protecting my family and it'll help him get better. He was literally drinking a liter bottle of vodka within 2 days! Every day for years. Do whatever you have to do because if you don't it's only going to get worse.
    tcarter1981

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 5:09 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • problem being Ox is a physical hold on the body so he will have to go through a Detox and want to be clean its no different then hereoin. I would look into a dehab.. and if you havn't seen him sick like cold,shaking, and puking then he is most likely still on them,.., Find the dehab because he will need to still be on the pills when they start breaking him off them so its not so hard on his body... As for trust you'll just need to take your time you may not trust him again there is a huge chance he could relaps but he wants help or he wouldn't have told you.. good luck went through this with my dad
    MrsCarlton

    Answer by MrsCarlton at 5:59 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • and if you ever want to chat just email me been through it with my dad he relapped once but he's clean now
    MrsCarlton

    Answer by MrsCarlton at 6:03 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • My husband took every pain pill there is. Never would I have married him (taking kids with me) knowing how bad addiction is. However, by God's grace only, we made it through. Eight yrs later I do not EVER worry about him being addicted to pain pills again.....alcohol, maybe, but not pain pills. He has come a long way but only because he wanted to. We still have some issues that we are working on. Addiction either masks or causes a lot of personal issues for a person & they need to get to the root of those in order to keep staying healthy. As for you, your husband needs to be patient while you go through things that you never thought you would go through. I began 'reacting' to him instead of the level headed talker that I was, I became a wild roller coaster of emotions that could snap at any moment. My anxiety level rose very high but I learned how to let God have it all. You have a long road ahead of you...hold on tight.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Your best option is probably to issue an ultimatum to him that either he gets help or you leave. You can offer to go with him or help him find the help he needs. It would also be very wise for you to tell your family and his family and ask them for their support in getting him help. Do not keep his secret. Tell his friends, too. He can't kick this by himself and you need back-up. Dont issue your ultimatum until you have a place to go. When you force him to choose, you must be ready to follow through. This won't get any better by itself; it will only get worse.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:44 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Oxycotin is pill formed herion. He will definatly need help detoxing. They have methadon and saboxin for that. Do you have insurance? Rehab does work, as long as he wants it to. I know your so mad at him and his dealer but contacting his dealer will only make him reach out to him more. My ex was really really bad into coke. After about two months being sober. His dealer (who rarely left his apartment) Took a cab all the way across Atlantic City to show up at our house. He stole 400 dollars that day to buy drugs. That was the last time I ever saw him ever again.
    Jillybeans24

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 9:18 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • The suboxone or subutex is a good form of detox. It keeps the cravings down but he has to be willing to get off pain pills for good and be willing to cooperate. The detox meds are not to stay on forever, but its a good alternative to dealing with the hell the withdrawals cause. I dont know about anyone else, but whenever I went through w/d's, it made me want them more. The subutex doesnt. I ve never been on the other side of the fence as in your case. I ve always been on the addict side, but I will tell you that he needs to figure out WHY he uses. Its not about pills of course. Theres something missing from his life and his heart that makes him want to fill it with these pills. He needs the feel good feeling. Ive never taken anything that strong before but I know the basics of rx drug addiction. Please stand by him and support him. He just needs help and as long as hes willing to be helped, then stand with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I was in that hell for many years before I finally left. He would go to rehab and if he made it through maybe last a month or two and then be right back where he started with the drugs plus add a new one or two. He was addicted to Oxycotin, Oxycodone, Xanax, Phenigren, Soma plus whatever other pain pills he could talk the doctors out of. He didn't have a dealer just many, many doctors and pharmacies. He was quite the charmer but I should have left years earlier then I did. I don't think in his heart he ever really wanted to get well just make everyone get off his back and let him do his drugs. He is dead now just as I predicted if he didn't get help. My advice is give him one chance to go to rehab and stay off the drugs forever. One slip and leave. Don't waste years of your life on someone who won't or can't straighten out their life.
    Keksie

    Answer by Keksie at 10:55 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • He needs medical help to get off those. You can die from the detox. I have a friend who was prescribed those and he recently passed away from complications related to excessive use of the pills. His doctor is also being held responsible because she was giving him the max alotted amount by his insurance and was prescribing all different strengths so he could legally get them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

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