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Does spanking work?

Do you believe in spanking? Does it work for you? At what ages?When does the behavior become bad enough to deserve a spanking?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 AM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (20)
  • My son is 2, and I spank lightly on occasion. When nothing else is getting his attention and it's an issue that can't be let go (i.e. a safety issue such as opening a hot oven), that's when I'll use spanking - one light handed swat on the diaper. It works in the sense that it redirects his focus, which then allows me to proceed with the lesson.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I don't have a problem with people spanking appropriately, but I honestly don't think it's the best choice of discipline. I think it's what people do out of frustration. My boys are 17, 20 & 26. I have always believed in logical consequences. Such as....if you say something dirty you clean something dirty. Anything on mom's dirty word list...."I hate you", you're stupid", and of course the 4 letter words, although I never caught them saying those. (I'm not saying they never did.) If you don't have time to do your homework, you don't have time for tv and video games.

    I also believe in rewarding good behavior. If I noticed one of my sons sharing, or doing something nice for someone else, I'd find an appropriate way to reward him. They found over the years that other people rewarded them naturally for good behavior.

    I personally never felt good hitting my children, and taught them not to hit so spanking didn't make sense to me
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:19 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • NO IT DOESN'T WORK NOR WILL IT EVER.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:39 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Scientifically speaking, yes it does.  There are a lot of self-appointed parenting experts who are very upset about that study, but endorphins are a powerful thing and their data is sound, so there isn't much they can do aside from mischaracterize it as abuse.

    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 7:42 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • It doesn't work...all it's doing is teaching your child to hit. That when someone does something they don't like they can hit them. I have a friend who spanks her kids and they ALWAYS hit other kids and people when they get mad. Even the 6 y/o old who should be way past that.
    minimommy816

    Answer by minimommy816 at 8:03 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I have a friend who spanks her kids and they ALWAYS hit other kids and people when they get mad.

    One person is not proof. Has it occurred to you that your friend's kids hit because she's lousy at discipline regardless of which method she uses?
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 8:10 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I am 100% against spanking. Parents who spank have anger issue, lack self-control and imagination to come up with other punishments. Violence begets violence and teaches anger and lack of respect for other people. Being hit is degrading no matter what your age is and too say you spank out of love just shows you lack good judgement and misunderstand exactly what love is.
    IhartU

    Answer by IhartU at 8:58 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • My mom spanked me once in a while, and I don't have a problem with it. After a while, all she had to do was threaten and it never actually happened again. I didn't do the things I got spanked for anymore and there's no psychological damage. I don't agree with putting the kid over your knee or taking their pants off first...that seems cruel...but one quick swat doesn't hurt anything.

    I really hate all the posts on CM stating "if you do ____, then you are a *insert insult here*." The assumptions and blind judgment on this site is sickening. No one has the same circumstances, no one has the same kids. Some kids don't give a crap about time-outs and the like. I, personally, as a kid, LIKED being in my room alone or sitting on a chair just thinking! LOL
    metalcowgirl34

    Answer by metalcowgirl34 at 9:26 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I have been spanked and when I was spanked it was not abuse and my parents were not trying to kill me. My parents were the nicest people in the world until you disrespected them or broke a rule.  They were redirecting my focus and asserting who was in control. However there is a way to spank, you do not spank your child and then give candy, you just defeated the purpose. A spanking and a conversation about the behavior was the method in my home.


     As the Bible tells us: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

    7thdayBeauty

    Answer by 7thdayBeauty at 9:27 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • No spanking does not work. By hitting them you're teaching them to hit if something doesn't go their way. Time outs can take a lot of time and effort on your part but isn't your child worth the time and the effort?
    drpepper73

    Answer by drpepper73 at 9:41 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

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