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Was your DH/SO selfish and not understanding when you were pregnant?

My SIL is pregnant with her 2nd child. She's working and still keeping up with everything at home. Our kids attend the same daycare and my brother brought my niece this morning instead of my SIL. He seemed mad and when I asked what was wrong he blew up. He's mad because for the past week and a half my SIL comes home, fixes dinner, eats, does some laundry and then falls asleep leaving him to give my niece a bath and get her in bed. He says she tells him she can't help it that she falls asleep so early and if she could help it, she wouldn't. I told him he's being selfish and she's 9 weeks pregnant and gets exhausted easily, she needs her rest. He does not understand and complains that he now has to pick up the slack of chores that she's not doing. I hate being the middle man, but she called me crying a couple of minutes ago saying he yelled at her for sleeping so much and called her lazy. My brother is being a butthole.


Asked by momtotrips at 9:25 AM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Pregnancy

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This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Tell him he's being a butthole and HE is being the lazy one if he can't be bothered to take care of HIS OWN CHILDREN.

    A wife is not his slave. As a matter of fact, HE should have ALWAYS taken a hand in helping with the chores. Doesn't he live there? He's a member of the household not the visiting guest.

    Snort. Maybe you should slip him a sleeping pill and then ask him to be functional and awake until it wears off.

    Answer by amileegirl at 10:11 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • This is very unusual of my brother to act this way. Did your DH/SO act like this when you were exhausted?

    Answer by momtotrips at 9:28 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Yup, at least he has been told. It is good that this came up, he is no longer the only one that is being taken care of. And it sounds like he is being lazy, what chores does he do daily, it sounds like she does them all.
    My hubby was like that until I pointed out that I also wasn't watering my plants either(something he will not ever do) and they were dieing. Then he realized that I wasn't being lazy I physically was wasted and believed me. Guys sometimes need a little more education, cause they can see what work a pregnant is doing.

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:33 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • my kids father CHANGED a lot when i got pregnant with my 1st he didnt rub my feet or my back made me cry all the time anytime i got happy over something he tore me down! I worked and he didnt when i went home all i would want was him to cook me something and he would complain all the time or just flat out refuse. but when the baby came it didnt change! my daughter was on a bottle and the breast he refused to get up and get her for me or get a bottle. i had a c section!! his answer to me when i asked him y he doesnt get up is "your the one that chose to breast feed" ok so i have to be in pain and deal with her on my own? I ended up moving in with my sister and cheated on him when my DD was 5 months then we tried to get back together i got preg again and he said it wasnt his so i have both kids and hes hardly around!! I never got to sleep and rest since my dd was born. when i got preg again i still was the one who delt with dd

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • My husband was surprised at how much I slept and I think that he might have thought I was being lazy at first, but I believe he understands better now that the exhaustion of early pregnancy is something you just can't do anything about.

    Sounds like your brother needs a slap upside the head! I was going to bed at 8 or 9 at night for the first trimester of this pregnancy and sleeping as late as I possibly could get away with.

    Answer by WillDoDa at 9:40 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • :) I'd go off on him.. but I"m preggo too and I did the same thing to my SO. He was being a JERK and coming home and being a lazy ass cuz ( as he put it) what the hell did I do all day the house was a wreck.

    Seems like when he got a taste of the pregnancy hormones the 2nd time around... he backed off. I (yelled) that I was tired and that would he like to take this baby and feel sick and crappy and still have a one year old to watch and feed and keep happy at all times?

    Answer by kristal2146 at 10:04 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I do have to say that my SIL definitely spoiled my brother in not having to do housework. She would come home cook, clean the kitchen, bathe their daughter, get her in bed, wash and fold clothes, manage the bills, cater to him and do everything else while he came home and sat on the couch. It's just as much her fault as it is his, but he's being a complete butthole and doesn't understand her need on being so tired. His defense is that she wasn't this tired with their 1st child, so what's so different now? If I could knock him out, I would, but instead I called him a bunch of names that pissed him off at 6:30 this morning.

    Answer by momtotrips at 10:21 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • men are assholes, someone needs to invent a virtual stimulation thingy or something that makes you feel what it's like to pregnant, so men can see what it's like and how uncomfortable it is.

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 12:20 PM on Aug. 20, 2009