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Husband driving me crazy!!

Do you ever feel like your husband is just driving you crazy? Well, I'm at that stage. He's making me into such a bitch that I'm just annoyed at myself. Do you watch Jon and Kate? I know it's lame these days about their whole publicity crap but before this, it was one of those showes that tryes to depict how the wife is so pushy and the husband just laid back and all. Well, I feel like it's the husband that makes the wife so bitchy. It's just one of those days. You know, I do the nightly cooking and for the most part only make what he likes to eat. And in that sense, I'm always thinking of him. Him on the other hand, I feel never thinks about me at all. Do you know what I mean? He's home all summer and he doesnt' bother to think about what I like the house to look like...it's a constant mess and I'm constantly nagging. I'm even annoyed at my own nagging. Am I the only one out there that feels this way?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • no i do too!!! when my hubby is home on weekends i expect him to help me out with our dd and cleaning the house and everything....but he doesnt, he lays in bed all day!!! if not then on the couch in my way! which irritates me more cause then hes in my way and still not helping!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • OOOO I hear you! Ok so my husband knows how to get under my skin when he wants to. He thinks that is funny! And when he isnt trying to get under my skin I thing he does a better job of it! When he gets home from work I am always in the kitchen making supper and he comes in a throws his stuff on the counter in my way, grabs our son for a hug grabs food out of the fridge and lays on the floor until i have supper ready and on the table and have our son in his chair eating! Then when we are done with eating he jumps up and runs outside doing whatever he wants while I am the one doing dishes and getting the house clean for the night and putting our son to sleep, he makes it in in enough time to give him a kiss good night!!! I want to scream! Maybe its someithing in the air because normally i dnot get so annoyed with him but the last couple weeks! AHHH i want to scream! Good luck girls!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I can empathize with what youre saying, but never forget that he doesnt make you do or feel anything. You choose it. When you blame your emotions and actions on another persons behavior, youve not only NOT taken responsibiltiy, but youre giving them all the power and basically saying you have no self control. Thats not true. You can control how you respond to him and his moronic ways. Also if you dont take responsibility, then you cant change it. Okay, I know I sound like Dr Phil. Im not trying to, but I just cant stand when people say someone is making them behave in a certain way. Thats just not possible. So, you do what you know is the right thing to do. Dont nag, just serve him like a wife should serve her husband and when he sees that youre doing this with joy in your heart, he will WANT to serve you, which is his job. I got into a rant the other night about the same things and my dh said something mean to me. CONT>
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:57 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I didnt speak to him for over 24 hours because he hurt my feelings. I realized that I was nagging and I didnt even hear myself. He didnt like to be talked to that way so he lashed back. We were both so wrong, but I asked him to calm me down by not being combative with me. I asked him to take up for himself by saying...hey, I hear you but dont nag, okay. He promised he would try and do better and I promised I would try and not nag. I just got frustrated that the kids were being so messy and they were not being held accountable. It took us over a day to get it worked out but we did. So I do know how you feel.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:59 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Men don't think like women do. If you know he won't do it even after to express your feelings then you are upsetting yourself by expecting something that you know he won't deliver. Accept him as he is. Don't expect housekeeping from him and you won't be disappointed. I know that's not fair but it's the way most men are. They think it's woman's work. They actually think we LIKE doing housework! lol
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:59 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • This is the OP here.. I would do the housework but I'm working 60 hour weeks myself!! If a guy thinks that woman should stay home, I'll be glad to do that! But society and woman's rights advocates fought for women libs and we are now in the workforce! So shouldn't we say that men are suppose to help out in the housekeeping department? Or else who does it fall on? And he is the one staying home all the time!!! How is it my problem to do the housekeeping! And I've trying to suck it up and live the way he likes but it ain't working. This will lead to divorce if I don't speak my mind! Can you live with crap stuck on the toilet seat from his dump and he's left it there for days? And I've asked him to clean it up and it's still there? Do you clean it up or do you just live with it? And say oh well, that's just the way he is??? I'm sorry but I'm really annoyed and more annoyed from some responses.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I have the same issue with my husband - although he will help from time to time. I agree with momofsaee - we have to control how we react to their behavior. I am working on this myself - because my husband says that my nagging might make him leave. I am used to order - and as a matter of fact thrive better when things are orderly - but I have two young children and I work outside of the home. I can't do everything - I need help. I get my teenager to help in some things and when my husband doesn't do enough - I have been learning to turn a blind eye to certain things. Sometimes I feel like it's killing me - but to keep Shalom in my home - I will do it.
    Myboysmom08

    Answer by Myboysmom08 at 11:12 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • You guys need to sit down and talk about your responsibilities and draw up a clear list of who does what.

    This would also be a good opportunity to address standards of cleanliness. In my experience, the person who has a higher standard of cleanliness does the most cleaning because it bothers them. Maybe his standard is more relaxed than yours.

    Also in my experience, many women don't communicate as well as they like to think...they cook every night and get grumpy about it, but they CHOOSE to cook every night, so the husband assumes that's part of her role. Ditto with cleaning. Hence why you need to talk.

    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 1:42 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

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