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so frustrated!! advice please??

My children and I are staying with my in-laws while my husband is training. (Hes in the military). My FIL is evangelical and very in your face 24/7. He seems to only be getting worse. My husband doesn't believe in God (neither do his siblings) because of how awful his dad can be. His dad treats me like I'm beneath him. I feel he uses his religion as a form of control. I just don't know how to deal with him anymore? I want so bad to tell that stupid man off! but then I think is that such a good idea. Its gotten so bad that I don't even want to go to church with them anymore. He distracts me during worship. (he moves his arms up and down the whole time and nearly hits me in the face every time he does the motion). I'm so sick of him. Does anyone else have someone like this in their family? I'm tired of just taking his dumb comments and not saying anything. What can I say to him to make him back off??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (12)
  • I feel so bad for you hun!! I can't imagine what it must be like to live with someone like that. If it gets too bad, knowing myself I would get him his face and tell him to F**k Off!! But thats me! lol
    Have you ever tried just talking to him and telling him how you feel? What does you MIL say about all of this?? If your FIL treats you like this I can only imagine how he treats his wife!! Get your DH to talk to his father if you can't get through to him. How long are you supposed to live with them??
    newlifewith3

    Answer by newlifewith3 at 10:43 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU, YOU ARE STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE. MY SUGGESTION IS TO TY TO IGNORE THEM ALTHOUGH THAT HAS TO BE HARD TO DO LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD. TRY ATTENDING CHURCH AT A DIFFERENT TIME OR PLACE, DON'T JUST ATTEND BECAUSE THEY ARE MAKING YOU DO IT. OR WORSHIP ON YOUR OWN. THE OTHER ALTERNATIVE IS TALK TO HUBBY TO SEE IF HE CAN EASE THE SITUATION, HANG IN THERE! COUNT TO TEN AND IGNORE.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:54 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I know it would be difficult or even near impossible -- but I would move out even if it meant going to a shelter. Your children are being influenced by this example each & every minute they spend in that house. It's shaping who they are & who they will become.

    I'd get my kids away from that ---- today.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 11:37 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Moving out might be the only solution. Until then, sit in a different pew at church!
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 12:00 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • fight the good fight of faith
    lawla

    Answer by lawla at 12:12 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • You may want to ask him directly where it says in the bible to treat people like you feel he treats you. Ask him where is the love of God. Do it in a way that it is not condemning or put downish. Approach him in love. You stated your husband is not a believer, but what about you?
    If you are the other thing to do is to love like Jesus does and prayer for him. He needs to see an example of what a Christian is. I also wonder does he treat anyone else like this or just you?
    You are in control of you. Sit in a different place at church. If he doesnt like it too bad. You can place your own boundaries and not allow him to walk all over you. You have that power! :-)
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 12:24 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • take you and your children to a different church where you can be in communion with god without distraction and in peace unfortunately there are a lot of people out there like this and its what turns people off to christianity, his behavior saddens God believe me and God will deal with him as he sees fit. These people can eb dangerous so be careful we had a church full of people like this commit check fraud when we rote a check for fourty five dollars they added a few zeros making it fourty five HUNDRED I was also beaten daily by a man who sounds a lot like FIL (and coincidently was envangelical extremeist as well) watch your children closely personally I would just leave
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 12:47 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • This is coming from one of my devotional readings, so bear with me, here, LOL.

    The bible teaches us to "turn the other cheek" (Matt 5:39) when someone wrongs us and to always forgive (Matt 6:14-15, Mark 11:25, Luke 6:37 . . . ). It's a very hard thing to do when the other person is a Christian and is acting self-righteous and being hurtful. But I feel that the best way to handle the situation is to remember God's love and mercy, and to show that through your own actions. You cannot control your FIL, you can only control your reaction to him and the way you allow it to affect you. May I suggest that you pray about the situation, and that you pray for your FIL. Sometimes people who behave this way are not certain about their own faith, and so they treat others poorly out of sadness, grief or guilt.

    My prayers are with you.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 1:04 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Stop mooching and get your own place. Grow up or shut up
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Everytime he says something and is trying to get a reaction, which I'm guessing he does a lot, just say, ok thank you. And walk away. Just grin and bare it for a while, it will get better. And he will be humbled, believe you me!
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 2:31 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

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