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found condom in wallet, very upset

DF left his wallet on the computer desk and before my 4 yr old could get to it I wanted to close it and move it. Well when i did I saw a strawberry flavored condom. We havent used condoms in well over 4 months now. TTC. and to top it off i dont do oral because of a something that happened to me when i was little. But before me and DF got together he was the oral whore more or less.

what would you do? im in tears i am so afraid that he has gotten oral since we have been together and that would break my heart

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • no offense i know you have been hurt in the past but you need to get over it or he will get over you

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Does he know you saw it? Did you ask him about it? I would be hurt and curious, but I don't know that I would accuse him of anything, he might just deny it and you have no proof. I would definitely talk to him about it and try to figure out what, if anything, is going on before you marry your DF.

    Answer by missanc at 10:45 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Just ask him about it hun! Maybe he was in the bathroom and bought one of those $1 condoms from those machines. If he loves you then I can't see why he would get oral from someone else!! Maybe thinking it was flavored you would enjoy it????

    Answer by newlifewith3 at 10:46 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Anonymous, he knew before we dated that oral wasnt in the cards and we still dated and then he proposed so that is just bullshit. I'm trying to work on it but once you have what happened to me happen to you, something are just hard to go through.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • poster.. ive been raped and molested myself ive been down that evil path but i know how men work and sadly its true.. they claim they know it is not in the cards but men are men... and they will stray if not given what they want and i think that condom shows that fact..

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • It could just be old from before you were TTC. Sometimes men leave those things in their wallets for years. The flavor thing may just be because it was free or something. Talk to him about it. I am sure there is a good answer.

    And NO you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do no matter what your reason. I am sure he loves you more than he loves BJs.

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:50 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • beckcorc, it isnt the same brand we used

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • What's DF? Dear friend? You aren't married, you have a 4 year old and you are trying to get pregnant. Now you think he may be cheating.

    Don't get pregnant without being married. Don't do that to the child you already have, the child you would be having, yourself, or the guy. If you can't/won't marry the guy don't get pregnant.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 10:55 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • DF is dear fiance

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • He might be innocent. My husband pulled a condom out of his wallet and showed it to me and of course I was thinking what the hell? But before I could throw a big stink about it he said one of his friends was giving them out like lollipops at work. They're all army buddies so I believe him. We don't use condoms ever which was why it was even questionable. Maybe someone gave it to him and he just wanted to hold on to it and forgot to mention it to you or didn't even find it mention-worthy.

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:56 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

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