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How do you stay calm during arguments?

With your spouse? I hate getting mad and saying things I don't mean or saying things just to hurt him. How can I stop doing this?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I agree with admckenzie...learn your man...sometimes when you think he's fussing or trying to start an agruement, it might be grounds for him to go hang with his buddies...then again, when he's fussing, it may just be him have to learn him first in order to learn how to deal with him...


    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:55 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Take a deep breath and count to ten before you open your mouth. Or say: I am too upset to be civil, can we try again in 15 minutes?

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:26 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • focus on getting your point across clearly

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 11:34 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • it is hard because when you are arguing you are passionate about getting your point across. But usually your point does get across clearer if you are not yelling.

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 11:37 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I pick my battles carefully! If it really isn't all that important, I let it go and don't say anything. I find this works best. I only argue when I feel that it can not be let go quietly. ie: children, serious finacial problems, health, etc...

    Answer by B_Vail at 11:41 AM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Ask yourself if the argument is worth the hassle you create and the mess you have to clean up afterward. Learn your man. Listen to repeat arguments. Many men pick fights to be able to get angry and leave to hang with his friends. Sometimes men say things hurtful to get you to go away and leave him alone. Sometimes they have bad days and your timing is bad so they lash out at you. Don't take things personally. That's something I learned about a year ago and it's had an amazing impact on my life and reduced arguments dramatically for me.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:45 AM on Aug. 20, 2009