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Would your support your man if he was going through paternity issues from a previous relationship???

What if your man told you he didn't beleive he was the father of a child from a previous relationship. Would you support your SO by going to court with him??? How would you feel when you hear for yourself that the child is his???? Would your feelings change about him???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • BELIEVING he's not the father still means (to me) that he was with her sexually so it shouldn't be a shock to find out in Court that he is. Would I go to Court? Heck yeah. I don't want him lying to me. I want to hear it for myself. How would I feel? I guess it depends if we were together when he was with her. It would affect my feelings if I thought about having a future with him. Child support can take a large chunk out of his budget which would cheat me and our children together. However, I'd be proud of him for being responsible and paying it. So I guess it all narrows down to how you really feel about him as a person. Take time away from him to see how you really feel about him if you have doubts.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:09 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • That is a tough one. Before DH and I got married one of his old flings announced she was pregnant. He said they had had a one night stand way back and it couldn't be his. It wasn't and she ended up marrying the guy. Honestly though, it probably would have been the end of us if it had been. Our situation was not the best at the time. She was the friend of DH's friend's wife and at the complex all the time. His friend and his wife didn't like me anyway and wanted them to get together. I would have had to move on.

    He would have to be one hell of a guy to make me want to hang around with that situation going on. In my case it would not have gone well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • What if your man told you he didn't beleive he was the father of a child from a previous relationship. " I would begin to question whether or not he was a trustworthy man...for the simple fact he was having unprotect sex witih a woman that he knew was having sex with other men."

    Would you support your SO by going to court with him???
    "No, he's not your husband, he's your man. He made the decision to go and have unprotected sex with someone, therefore, he should be man enough to handle his business."

    How would you feel when you hear for yourself that the child is his?
    "You shouldn't have any feeling whatsoever "if" the child is his. I think I would be more concerned about getting tested for std's than to be worried about "if" the child is his. You are not married to this man. If the child "is" his then you should encourage him to have a relationship with the child,
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:19 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I just want to clarify some things.I understand you guys point of view. But the women with baby wasn't messing around with other men. The man knew all along this was his baby. He lied to his girlfriend and famliy. He made them to beleive the women with the baby was a bad person but in reality she wasn't. Thas why I was asking if u were the girlfriend how would u feel about the whole situation???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • DH already has a child from a previous relationship. His relationship with her showed me what a great dad he is and made him all that much more attractive to me as a partner. If someone else from his past showed up claiming to have his child, I would encourage him to get a paternity test to make sure, and if it was really his I would support him and encourage him in providing for and having a relationship with the child. It would only change my opinion of him if he tried to weasel out of his responsibility for the child, but I can't see him doing that. Of course it would affect our family dynamics etc to bring another child into the family even on a parttime basis, but we'd work through it.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:10 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I just want to clarify some things.I understand you guys point of view. But the women with baby wasn't messing around with other men. The man knew all along this was his baby. He lied to his girlfriend and famliy. He made them to beleive the women with the baby was a bad person but in reality she wasn't. Thas why I was asking if u were the girlfriend how would u feel about the whole situation???

    That changes my answer pretty much entirely. I wouldn't want a man who tried to weasel out of the responsibility for his child and lied to everyone. I'd be out.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:12 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • thanks for your opinion riotgrrl:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • So what would u think of a woman who goes along with a man that doesn't man up and take care of his child????
    MissVA

    Answer by MissVA at 1:40 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I'd say, yes...I would support him. And IF the baby ended up being his....I would advise him to treat that child no different than ours. I would be behind him the whole way.
    clhadley

    Answer by clhadley at 2:17 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I was in a situation like this recently. My SO's previous gf was claiming that her son was his. He & I got together when she was 2 months pregnant (he broke up w/her bc he caught her red-handed in bed w/another dude). So time goes on & she has the baby & he of course wanted a dna test to make sure it was his baby. He set up 3 different tests, all of which she never showed up for.Fast forward, 2 yrs later & she tries to file child support on him for this child. But in order to get it, she had to do a dna test to PROVE he's the dad. They took the test & the boy was NOT his. Everybody pretty much knew it wasn't but my point is that I supported him bc he wasn't being shady about the situation. He tried to do the right thing by scheduling the dna tests, but after awhile he gave up & stopped trying to get answers. Now he knows & we're all glad. But if he had been lying & being the way u described this other guy, hell NO I wouldn't..
    Lextacy

    Answer by Lextacy at 3:56 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

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