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was anyone else terrified of getting married?

just want to know please don't bash. If you did and your married how did you make it work?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I wouldn't say I was "terrified", but after my DH proposed, I thought "Okay, this is what I wanted, right?" ... but I think everyone experiences that. I did again after we found out I was preggo with my son. It was like "Okay, this is what we were trying for. Why am I so scared now?".

    I know for me, with marriage, I think I was scared because I don't believe in divorce. This was it, it was final, it was forever. And that can be very scary! But I was with a man that I knew well, we have great communication, and we're on the same page with our morals and life goals. There wasn't anything I would change about him before marriage, therefore eliminating the "well, I thought I could change him after we were married" theory that some women seem to have.
    ap9902

    Answer by ap9902 at 12:48 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Terrified? No. I did it three times but won't do it again. Things change after the I Do's and I didn't like the change. I felt like the men misrepresented themselves but they thought their role changed. Well duh, yeah but it changed from partner to tyrant and that wasn't in our original negotiation for a future together. Talk to him. See what he expects of you. Ask how he perceives his role (partner as equal or tyrannical head of house) See what roles he thinks you two should do alone and what will be done together (child rearing, house work, working out side the home). Once it's all worked out and you agree that you will discuss issues as they come along you should be fine.

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:17 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • At first when my DH proposed I felt he was the one I knew that I could make it work for the rest of our lives. As it got closer to the date I started questioning not myself but would he be able to make it for the rest of our lives. I, myself will only be married once. My DH will be the only man I will have ever married. We have a great marriage and yes it has it's days. But I know that I am not happy every single day or moment of my life. It is a struggle, but now that I've been married and my DH told me that no matter what he wants to work through everything with me. That this is not like just hooking up with a woman, this is his marriage and he wants it to be with me for eternity. Which made me feel better. I mean I think a lot of my fears came from my daughters father telling me that I would be his for life. Thank God I didn't marry him. I would be married and he'd have children by other women... LOL... I am HAPPY finally
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 1:52 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • My fiance proposed to me last May. There were a couple of times that first month that I got a little nervous. But I soon found that it was my own preconceived notions and fears that caused it. When we talked and worked through some misunderstandings, we became closer and those fears disappeared. As we get closer to the wedding date, I'm feeling happier and happier. I think it is normal when first getting engaged to question (as another poster stated) "this is what I wanted, right" and to ask if this is really IT - the one you want to be with for the rest of your life. If you can't work through those nagging questions or if they become more pronounced, you need to really look at what you are doing and if it is right.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 4:05 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

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