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how can i get a 2 year old and a 4 year old on the same page??

My daughter and i recently moved into my boyfriends house and are coming across challenges that i have never had to deal with before.. when it comes to eating my daughter is a garbage disposal and will eat anything but the 4 year old boy we have to fight for him to eat every meal.. and when he does its the same things corn dogs, chicken nuggets, or fish sticks with mac n cheese.. and when it comes to hygene the 2 year old will take her baths and brush her teethe but wont let me do her hair.. when the 4 year old wont brush his teeth with tooth paste will doesnt like to get in the shower.. yet wants me to do his hair.. they really like eachother but hav a hard time playing because the 2 year old doesnt like to share.. BEDTIME... its a constant fight between both of them to go to bed 4 year old will stay up till 1 or 2 in the morning when my 2 year old is learning (fighting) to go to bed around 8 8:30.. any advise??

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Asked by mommak2237 at 12:52 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • Is this boy your BF's son?

    Answer by louise2 at 12:54 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • sounds like boy will have a bit of a time getting used to a schedule and that is exactly what he needs, picky eater-not a big concern lots of kids are, but bath time, brush teeth, bed time, routine is what he was lacking before
    sounds like a good thing you are around now
    time and patience

    Answer by boredmom44 at 12:57 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Sounds like you and your boyfriend need to sit down and get on the same page about behavior expectations for the kids. It won't be easy for either child to adjust overnight, but just be clear and consistent in your expectations and it will come over time.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:01 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Well the simple answer is you can't get them on the same page and shouldn't expect them to be on the same page at 2 and 4 years old. Now as to the actual problems you listed it sounds like you need to sit down with BF and decide what is expected of both kids and then enforce it with BFs help. Is the boy your BF's child? How often do you have him there? Is he allowed to do the things you do not like while at his mother's house? These will all play into how you handle changing things at your house.

    Answer by aeneva at 1:36 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • yes this is my boyfriends kid( the 4 year old)
    and i ve been trying to get my bf to see that its what his son needs being that he is four not in preschool or anything and starting kindergarden next year..
    kodi(4 year old) and karsyn (6 month old) are @ our house every night but they only stay the night every monday and weds. then they are there everyother night till 11 @ night..
    i personally believe weather they stay all night or not while they are in our home the need to follow our scheaduels.. i work form 8 to 5 come home cook dinner, clean up let the kids play for a bit give baths to karsyn and madison (while kodi does his own thing) and try to get kodi and madison to have a bedtime snack , wash up /brush teeth, clean up the snack ,have a story time and go to bed.. i have to fight just a little bit with madison to get to bed but shes normally in bed and asleep by 9 at the latest while kodi is up with dad playing games

    Answer by mommak2237 at 2:07 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • It sounds like it is your boy friend that is the problem not the child. Playing right before bed is not a good thing. Just let your boyfriend to put him to bed when he is ready to. Don't do it for him.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:45 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • mk well thank you guys ive been trying to talk to him about it and get it all settled but everytime i try he changes the subject.. so idk i think im just going to let him handle kodi but im just irratatted that it interups with madisons scheadule and my own.. but i guess thats what its all about comprimising right???

    im just feeling lost now.. its really difficult

    Answer by mommak2237 at 4:46 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Have you ever had him checked for Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)? Other advice is all well and good, but if your child is dealing with issues that have a physical or emotional basis, then that will have to be dealt with first. And no amount of discipline or other good intentions will work. Just a thought.

    Answer by IneedCalgon at 11:39 PM on Sep. 10, 2009

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