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Any Ideas to Help my 15 DD deal with GD living here?

Hi, I have a beautiful ,chatty, very normal 15 almost 16 yo DD. She is a junior in HS this year and is a wonderful help around the house. She has a cell phone with unlimited text she can not use at school due to grades, has the typical myspace stuff which we monitor. She is the only girl out of my4 kids in our house and has always had issues with her oldest brother. I think its because they are so alike in so many ways.
Anyway...About a year ago the oldest brother moved back in w/ his 2 month old baby girl who was removed from her mother. This past year my DD has been awesome with her niece, who she sadly has to share a room with. The brother and she are always at each others throats and some days I feel so bad for my DD. I want to find some things that I do with her to let her know how special she is to me, and that I am grateful she does what she does.
Any idea's?


Asked by Mona330 at 2:52 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (8)
  • Your dd sounds a lot like mine. Very normal teen who is well behaved and fun. Does she like shopping? manicure, pedicure? dinner, movie? I think I would go with what you think she would have the most fun at. Basically, its more about just the quality time. My dd is also great with her younger siblings and my niece and nephew. Shes a great babysitter and I think at times we take advantage of her when we dont want to cart our 3 yr old around. He sleeps with her and sometimes she just wants her own space and her own time without watching her brother. Even if we are in the store, he will run off and before I even have a chance to do anything, shes running after him and then gets mad at me because she says I am making her watch him.....LOL. Make sure that no matter WHAT you actually do, you express your thoughts to her in word. She needs you to say what you just said to us. Make sure she hears you say that. GOod luck!!

    Answer by momofsaee at 2:57 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • take her shopping.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 2:56 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • just suprise her with things to show her how much you appreciate her. Take her out to lunch and shopping on a random day or buy her something she really wants just for no reason. And make sure you let her know how much you appreciate everything she does and sacrifices. ANd I would say have a talk w. the older brother and let him know that its not acceptable. How much your dd does and helps w.his dd i think he could learn to show her respect and hold off on fighting w.her.

    Answer by OliviasMommy614 at 2:59 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Take her out for a special mother/daughter day, evening, or afternoon every once in a while and TELL HER how awesome she is!!! I make a point of doing this with my 13 year old daughter at least once every few months because she doesn't get the one on one attention she got before she became a big sister to twins a couple of years ago; she is great with her little brother and sister and doesn't really complain about how much things have changed since she stopped being an only child. We usually go out for lunch (her choice), and then we either go shopping or to the movies. If your daughter is girly, she might also enjoy a spa day.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:01 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • although I agree with the shopping and the two of you spending more time together...I wonder how she's being affected by a grown man having issues with her...I mean she's still a child and sibling rivalry from your older son that has a child himself should've passed for him by now, right? I mean if your feeling sorry for her, his words must cut deep...if anyone should show appreciation to your dd for being a great kid and sharing her space with her niece, is "your son".

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:10 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Take her on a spa day. Pamper her and yourself. Your brother also has to show his appreciation for all that your daughter is doing for HIS DAUGHTER. You could also take her shopping, to a museum, a musical, a play, etc.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:22 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I don't want to sound like a jerk but why does your daughter have to share a room with the baby? Why can't the baby sleep in your older sons room with her father? I'm honestly curios. You could always take her out for a fun mommy daughter day. If you get tons of coupons it shouldn't cost that much and I know I always loved hanging out with my mother alone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I guess I should have made it clear we have a total of 4 kids plus my GD living with us in a 3 room apt. My husband and I took the smaller of the the rooms and the boys share as do the girls. I do have serious issues with my older son and the way he treats her. That is a part of why I am trying to do something special with my daughter. The issues with my son are the reason why the baby is here.

    I want to thank all the moms with the positive responses. I am going to suprise her with a manicure and lunch. I am randomly picking the best answer but I want to let you all know i am grateful for the time you took to answer.

    Answer by Mona330 at 6:34 PM on Aug. 22, 2009