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How can you be proud to be non-equals??

I dont understand women who say im a "proud submissive wife" how can you be proud to have no say in a relationship, to just do as your told like a child and to pretty much be treated like a child, so if your husband wants to spend thousands of dollars and spin the family into debt your going to lay down and take it?? or if he beats your children or you, you'll lay down and take it? what about if he decides hes going to have an affair your going to submit and take that?? I guess I just dont understand any of it?? or how far it really goes?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (17)
  • I've never heard anyone say that.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 3:55 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I've also never heard that phrase.

    Answer by ladysavage at 3:57 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • theres always a ton of posts about it in SAHM group and Newcomers group

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I am a proud submissive wife and SAHM, but that doesn't mean I just "lay down and take it" as you put it. My husband is the primary decision-maker on MOST things, but I also have a say about what goes on. A relationship takes 2, and ours involves discussing things before anything goes down. Except last week when he "surprised" me by bringing home a new car, but it didn't cost him anything so I don't care. :P

    Answer by srhmldndo at 4:01 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Oh and there's no beating or gambling or "wasting" in our house. Just tend to your house. Don't worry about what other people do.

    Answer by srhmldndo at 4:02 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I think you are misunderstanding submissive.....srhmldndo said it all!!!

    Answer by mamakirs at 4:03 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I have never heard anyone say that, but you don't seem to understand "submissive". It doesn't mean that you are a door mat or walked all over. Being submissive to your husband isn't the same as being oppressed as in some other countries. You have a say. You have a voice. Submissive wives just believe that the final say in some decisions are the husbands. That doesn't mean that they haven't talked, researched, or she hasn't made her wishes understood. Someone has to make the final decisions about some issues. The husband is just as good as the wife. I'm submissive in some issues. I speak my mind. He speaks his. We weigh the pro's and con's and then he makes the call. Sometimes, when things go wrong, I feel sorry for the weight he has to bear. You need to understand the concept before you make such broad assumptions.


    Answer by jesse123456 at 4:04 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Being submissive doesn't mean being abused. I think most women who say that mean that they have a more "traditional" marriage. I guess I consider myself submissive. My husband does listen to my feelings & opinions, so I definitely still have a say in decisions, & there are decisions I make myself. The reason that I can be submissive is that I trust him to put me first. I put him first. He knows I'm an intelligent person, he definitely considers me of equal value to him, & he respects me. I feel more feminine not being "in charge". I'm already in charge of the kids, I like being softer where he is concerned & he likes it too. I have full access to our money & finances, don't need permission to do things I want to do, & my husband has never laid a hand on me, he cherishes me & values me. Yes, I do the housework, & cooking, he brings home a paycheck & takes care of home & auto maintenance it works for us.

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:10 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Ohwrite, that sounds more like a equal partnership to me.

    Answer by Mom2princessq at 4:13 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Mom2princessq, I think it is an equal partnership, but he definitely has the final say on major decisions. Most of the time we agree or compromise, but if we can't, I know it will be his decision. Like jessie12345 said, I know that the burden of responsibility will come down on him, not on me. I know if I'm going out to lunch with a girlfriend I need to make a lunch for my husband before I leave, but I also know that I won't ever have to pump my own gas. If he wants to be intimate, I would only say no if I'm sick, otherwise even if I'm not in the mood I am available. Maybe you're right, maybe I'm not submissive, I'm just traditional....I think the lines blur, and it's dangerous to assume that submissive is abused.

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:27 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

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