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How can you be proud to be non-equals??

I dont understand women who say im a "proud submissive wife" how can you be proud to have no say in a relationship, to just do as your told like a child and to pretty much be treated like a child, so if your husband wants to spend thousands of dollars and spin the family into debt your going to lay down and take it?? or if he beats your children or you, you'll lay down and take it? what about if he decides hes going to have an affair your going to submit and take that?? I guess I just dont understand any of it?? or how far it really goes?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • When I hear the term "submissive wife" I don't think of someone with no backbone, or someone who lets her husband run over her. If you are going to be submissive, you need to be so to a CHRISTIAN husband, then you won't have to worry about your say being undermined, because he will treat you with respect and love. Being submissive isn't always a bad thing, I think it's letting the man be the man, like it was intended to be. Not that women should be door mats, not by any means, but just being supportive, loving , nurturing and caring towards your husband can mean you are submissive...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I agree with anon 4:10...being submissive does not mean not having a does not mean allowing a man to mistreat does not mean ANY of the things you mentioned. What you're talking about is stupidity...not submissive...starts with the same letter but has way different meanings...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:15 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • wow, you have a terrible misconception of a submissive. You have it mixed up with someone with low self esteem and/or co-dependent who allows herself to be walked all over. I'm the submissive in my relationship with SO but he has no say over all my decisions in life (other than the times we are together). I'm an independent woman who makes her own decisions but for my time with him I choose to play the role of sub while with other ppl I'm the dominant one. It just works for us that way.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:39 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • OP - I don't understand it either. If a man needs his wife to be "submissive" he doesn't soumd like much of a man.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Submissive sounds a little too much like giving up one's judgment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Not my marriage. Not my problem.

    Answer by Avarah at 4:51 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • If I was a submissive wife our home would fall down around us. My husband wouldn't know what to do if I didn't take charge and make the decisions in our family.

    Answer by Dyndudes at 4:58 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • What you describe has nothing to do with submission. Submissive wives are equal partners. They simply recognize that there is a correct order of submission as a means to keep order in the home. The correct order is God, husband, wife, and children. Notice that all are under the authority of God and therein lies the key. The man who is submissive to God knows how to love his wife and he treats her with all the dignity that she deserves. The wife who is submissive to God knows how to love her husband and give him all the respect that he deserves. It's not a regime where the husband lords it over his wife and orders her around like you describe.  It is a peaceful way in which to live.  Should the husband and wife not be able to agree on a decision, which will very, very rarely happen, the husband will have the final say. 


    Answer by NannyB. at 5:00 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I do not agree with being a submissive wife because of that label and what it simply implies. The thing that I find so funny is that the submissive wife still holds most of the cards in the family. You know the saying "if mamma isn't happy, then no one is". Well, men want their women to be submissive because they want to be enough for their women. They want to take care of them and be the protector. They are wired that way because that is how our history has shaped them. In order for men to play that role their women must agree or 'submit' to holding back a little or stepping to the side so that the man can take charge of taking care of his wife and family. It really isn't an awful concept. If a women challenges her husband he feels inadequate as a man. He feels betrayed because his duty is to be the protector and if she is unhappy with him he must not be adequately doing his job. So that is why women 'hold back'.

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 5:20 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I do not agree with women considering themselves submissive because it does imply that she must always hold back and have no say in her relationship. When that is simply the opposite. Women have a lot of say as submissive wives. All they have to do is ask of their husbands and they shall receive. Now I am not talking about greedy, mean women. Some men have misconceptions about how to care for their wives and they become controlling and power hungry and that is how you end up with an abusive man. Usually though a man does not want to suppress his wife on purpose he just does inadvertently because he doesn’t want to feel inadequate about himself as a provider.

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 5:22 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

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