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how often does your daughter go for sleep overs? help asap please

i swear its like my daughter never wants to be home. she always wants to sleep over someones house but her own. she is 11 is this just what they go through or is this always? she was at her father over the weekend and then she slept at het uncles and then at neighbors the last 2 nights, and now she wants to sleep at her uncles again tonight. but she hasnt been home at all this week. what do i do? i would really like her to be home but i know she is going to cry and say she hates me and everything else. i havent given her an answer yet. and i dont need her father using this against me that im sending her to everyones house over night. its nasty between he and i. what do you do when your kids do this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • my 8 yr old dd is the same way. i think they get bored of being at home w/ us. during the school yr. i rarely see her on weekends. between her dads house, sleepovers, & slumber parties she has a very active social life - lol. you could invite her friends to say the night at your house to change it up alittle.
    scooterpooter

    Answer by scooterpooter at 5:37 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • You're the mother, it is your decision, not hers. She sounds spoiled to me.
    You should set rules for her, like she is allowed to stay one day out of the week during school and two days out of the week in the summer. . Or something like that. If she is home and bored I understand her wanting to go do things, being away from home is usually more entertaining but she shouldn't be allowed to run the roost!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • You make the decisions because she's not adult enough yet. That's an awful lot of running around. At least in your house make rules. Let her have sleep over once a week til school begins in your home. In her father's home that's really something that can't be fought. Is her uncle married, kids? If that's as safe as her fathers or safer then don't fight that. But still she's sleeping all over too many times. I'm very very strict with my kids. I've known divorced famililes whose moms feel horrible guilt for their kids two home situations and let them run wild. Married familes have problems too and kids run wild I sure known that.

    Reign her in now. One sleep over in your home per week til schools in session then one sleep over in your home when school starts up. That or no sleep overs in your home.

    Take things away if she doesn't listen. She's heading to trouble running all over so much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • she has her sleep overs here to i have had a few friends over (not at once) for 4 days at a time. i guess her aunt has something planed to take the kids tomorrow and thast why she wants to sleep there but still i would like her to be home sometime. should i just say fine and let her tonight and then thats it for awhile?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • anony 442 again .... meant ... allow one sleep over in your home per week til school begins then allow one sleep over in your home Per month when school starts up. That or no sleep overs in your home.


    From a divorced family or not she's way to young to have that much freedom. She will be demanding dates one on one dates very soon if you dont watch out. Give her boundaries now and enforce them like some couples who are married and get along well do and like some divorced parents who get along well do.

    If you give her boundaries now then if she badly breaks out and gets in to serious trouble i.e. drinking, drugs, pregnancy, fast cars at least you will not have to have horrible sorrow that you yourself were too loose with her. Dont mean you are loose instead mean too much freedom allowed her. She'll do what she wants - lie most kids do to different degrees, but the depth and social consequence depends on boundaries.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • op if it's visitation time with her dad that the special aunt time is taking place you can't disallow it. If it's not official time then put your foot down say no you're staying home. do you tell her no ever?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Don't let her manipulate you. If you want her home, you want her home and that is it. Why don't you make plans for an 'at home slumber party"? Let her pick out a movie and pick out dinner and you hang out together all night?
    asiamommi

    Answer by asiamommi at 6:14 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I was rarely at home growing up too... I was always at one friends or another & barely home.. when i was home I was on the phone and generally in my room. id watch tv. when the internet came around (hs yrs) i was searching the net....
    Maybe you could help her want to be home a bit more.. what do you do when she is home? Do you cook together? play board games together? go out & do something entertaining with her.. let her know you can be fun too!
    If she is just in her room doing nothing IMO its better she be out with friends. Its not good for kids to sit around on the net or just playing video games or texting.. UGH I hate texting! Kids are more open to sharing stuff they shouldnt (sexting).. but texts keep our kids from expressing emotions. as well.. bla bla.. thats another post all together, right!? lol
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 9:45 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I hate sleep over parties. In this day and age you know anything can happen and I'm just not a big fan of all things girly/girl I guess. I just don't like my 9yr. old to have or go to them. As far as going to family's house-I am okay w/that and encourage it. It's rare but allow for her to have a sleep over w/her cousin from time to time. She's your child and your little family! I say make her stay home,they don't hate us,they say that! Lol.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

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