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My 5 year old is having trouble in school what can I do?

This is my sons first year of school, he has never been in daycare or anything like that. He has gotten three oops notes in the last week. I don't know what to do to make him understand how he needs to behave in school, I talk to him and he listens and acts like he understands but then he gets another note sent home from the teacher. I am starting to wonder if its my fault for not putting him in daycare I just need some type of advice on how to handle this please anyone?

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Asked by Emily_23 at 5:43 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)

  • It could be he is just not mature enough for kindergarten yet. You may want to pull him out and put him in a pre-school this year and let him start over again in kinder next year.

    My brother wasn't ready at five. Mom held him back a year and she said it made all the difference.

    Something for you to consider, anyway.

    Answer by 07upsydaisy at 6:00 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • My son is having a similar problem, but hes getting better every day, i say just keep working iwth im and the teacher. Make it clear to your son that if he keeps acting up in school you will be called and there will be some punishment/. oNce i made it very clear that I would come the school if he kept acting up he started to calm down. SOme of it is just having to learn new rules and some of it is learning what the boundaries (how much will the teacher allow before he gets a note) once i told the teacher that any incidence of misbehavior was to result in a not home and when he got home he got time out and no snack after school he also started behaving. it has also helped him that the teacher lets him see when she writes his notes home good or bad if hes good he gets a smiley face and she tells him what he did good that day to get a smiley face and if hes bad she tells him exactly what he did bad and what shes writing in

    Answer by elananme at 6:07 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • note and reminds him that bad notes home get punished with time out and no snack so when he comes out i can tell by the look on his face what his note calendar says. If you get together and work with the teacher everyday and are consistent and up front every day reminding him exactly what behavior is expected you should see some improvement. oh yeah my son was never in day care either

    Answer by elananme at 6:08 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I am a teacher and I agree with the first post.

    He may need a year to adjust and learn HOW to go to school. Especially if he is a young 5.

    Find a GREAT preschool and let him do a year there, set firm limits and consequences for bad behavior at school.....let him KNOW you are talking to his teacher, show him notes going back and forth and let him listen to phone conversations.....

    Then next year re-enroll him in a public K......

    My son is doing two years of K...only b/c his birthday is at the end of July, so he would have barely been 5 if I had sent him to public K his first year.

    Younger 5's sometimes struggle with maturity issues and it slows their learning.

    This is a real choice that parents are making now, its called RED-SHIRTING, (holding back a younger child for one year)

    It may be the best decision you have ever made for him ;) message me if you want!

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 6:08 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I agree with holding him back. My daughter is an October baby and I opted to put her in pre-kindergarten and am glad I did. Some children are just not socially ready for kindergarten.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 11:02 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • The earlier you do that, the better. Think how much better it is to start K next year than to repeat second or third grade because his lack of achievement caught up with him. Of course, if he is academically advanced, but maturity challenged ( my son was like that) a really good pre-school will tailor his program appropriately.

    Answer by callmeann at 11:22 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • He might not be ready, especially if he's one of the younger ones in his class, but before you pull him out you need to visit with his teacher. A kid is expected to get lots of corrections in kindergarten; find out if he is REALLY having more problems than the other kids or if MOST of the kids are in the same boat. Some teachers are very quick to give out "oops" notes, while others will deal with the behavior as it occurs and you won't hear about it. If you and his teacher believe he is having problems due to a lack of maturity, I would definitely be in favor of pulling him and trying again next year because it is MUCH easier to do it now and he will get a bad taste for school if he always has a negative experience and struggles.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Often this is why preschools are good just to get them in that class room setting use to teachers, class mates, rules and learning. If he is a young 5 I would consider having him wait another year and doing a Pre K type thing if you can. My son is a young 5 when he entered kinder last year but he did well. I think Preschool does help alot though!

    Answer by hill2 at 2:04 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I agree with posters 1 and 4.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

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