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Can someone please give me advise on my 12 year old

I have a 12 year old son and I found Barbie dolls hidden in his room. I had won Barbie dolls in an auction and am dressing them for little girls for needy families for Christmas. He had hidden 2 of them. I just happened to stumble onto one of them and my middle son found the other one. He had put one of their hair up in a pony tail and cut it until it looked nice. I am wondering if I need to worry about him being gay? Of course, I will love him no matter what, but I am concerned. When I asked him why he had them, he said straight up that he was playing with them. OMG, how's that for honesty...what am I to do? We are the typical American family. Dad and mom, 3 sons, dad works, mom works, oldest is married and has a child, middle starts high school this year, 12 year old in 7th grade. Advice???

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Asked by haroldswife at 5:57 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (12)
  • just let him be who he is.

    Answer by writeon at 6:00 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • what would his father and older brothers do to him if youngest son is gay?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • he's a kid, let him be, not EVERYTHING a kid does has to turn into a what if...

    Answer by katishome at 6:11 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • "Worry about him being gay" shouldn't be playing the what if game because of a barbie doll for one thing, and for another.....why would you WORRY if he was gay....if he's gay, he's gay...that's that. Let him be who he is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • why would you need advice?

    I wouldn't worry.

    My brother was wearing leotards because he wanted to be like his sister and he also dressed up in girls clothes. He is now 19 and is as straight as they come BUT he isn't homophobic either. He is completely intune with his femine side and isn't scared of showing affection.

    He is just playing - I just wouldn't make a big deal of it. If you do then your son might think there is something wrong with him when there isn't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Thank all of you for your answers. I am curious, though, why, everyone, felt the need to hide behind "anonymous", save for one?

    Answer by haroldswife at 7:26 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I can see where you'd be a little concerned, but I wouldn't jump on the "gay" label just yet. My son is 9 and likes to play with Barbie's and cute little animals and whatnot with my daughter. I remember my brother doing the same, although he'd never admit it when others were around, and he's straight as they come! Yes, it's odd that he's hiding it, but maybe that's just because he knows they're "girl" toys.

    I would make an effort to talk to him. Not confront him, but just be a friend and chat. Make sure he's comfortable coming to you and telling you things...keep the lines of communication open and definitely don't ridicule him!

    Answer by goldenfox at 8:28 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Just let him be who he will be. If he is gay, there is nothing you can do about it. Just love him for who he is. I know plenty of hairstylists that aren't gay. They are happily married men with children of their own (one is pretty wealthy from owning 2 salons). Don't worry about it so much, it will be ok. Keep the lines of communication open, let him know that he can talk to you about anything and you will keep an open mind and will stay calm with him.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:14 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Oh hell, I used to play with GI Joes. Leave him alone about it, but make sure he trusts you to come to you with anything (that should go without saying), and love him simply because he's himself.

    Answer by crittermomma at 1:06 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • They hid because their comments were kinda mean and pretty snarky.

    My husband played with my little pony(s) all the time as a young tween. He has fond memories of playing. He is quite straight. I wouldn't worry.

    Answer by Drewlove at 3:30 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

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