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He professed his love for me and he's not my husband, what do I do?

I've known him for a looooooong time. He doesn't want to start a relationship...but he felt the need to tell me how he feels. I'm married, he's married. I don't want to lose him as a friend.


Asked by Pristine_Dream at 9:10 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (19)
  • I find it weird he said he doesn't want a relationship but yet he confesses his love for you? That would be weird, for sure. I guess if you are strong in your marriage and really love your hubby and have no feelings for your friend, I would say to maybe just help him through his loneliness in Iraq (you know, just friendly chat, and helping keeping him company). Sounds like his wife isn't doing a great job. Why would she resent him, she must've known what she got herself into marrying a military dude. I actually feel sorry for the dude.

    Answer by workathome01 at 1:47 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Tell him just that. That you love him too, but as a friend and that because you are both (hopefully happily) married, you cannot start a relationship.

    Good luck!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:12 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • You need to get out of that friendship. Its no longer a friendship when one person has strong feelings for the other. What if it were the other way around? Would you want your husband being friends with someone who was in love with him?

    Answer by 2princesnaKing at 9:14 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Run! If he is married he had no business letting you know he has feelings for you. Don't you find that kind of strange and scary? If some friend told me this it would make me question our friendship and what their intentions were from day one. I would not be happy because now he is making me think of things I never wanted to think about. If you still want to be his friend you need to let him know you don't want to talk about feelings no more because you both are married and plan to keep it that way. At least let him know you do.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 9:19 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I agree with PP For something that serious to be confessed deep down the person wants a response. The reality is you don't come forth with something that in-depth and not want anything to result from it. At this point even though lines have not been crossed it has the potential of turning into something it should not. Look at it this way If it were your husband and he had a female friend...who all of a sudden felt the need to express feelings you would not want him being friends with her (more than likely) KWIM?


    Answer by MRSnMOTHER at 9:21 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Do you love him too?

    Answer by MichiMomma at 9:25 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Sylvia... Scary? Really? Love should never be scary. I agree that maybe a friendship won't work when one person is in love and not just friends, but love is always a good thing, and he was right to let her know about these feelings. In my opinion it's wrong to go through life having loved someone and never told them.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:25 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Do what is best for your child(ren)

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:33 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • He's all the way in Iraq. I just think he's lonely, his wife doesn't try to talk t him daily, she doesn't send him pictures of the kids, he only sees the family 30 days out of the year, I think she resents him for that... I love him but it's not beyond that of the love of my husband. I definitely love him the much it makes me cry thinking about how much I love that man. I don't have very many friends...I'd hate to lose him as a friend. I wouldn't ever cross that line with him. I love my family too much for that.

    Answer by Pristine_Dream at 9:45 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • I would tell him you didn't want to loose him as a friend but that you are married and so is he and that having those feelings will make you have to walk away.

    Answer by dcdmattison03 at 9:48 PM on Aug. 20, 2009