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My 17 year old won't work!

Okay...I'm at the end of my rope. I have a 17 year old daughter. We are trying to get her to be more responsible and pay for her own expenses. But she won't even go look for a job. She has an excuse for everything. She can't drive yet. (she has her learner's permit). The economy is bad so no one is hiring. She has too much homework. You will love this one: The smell of fast food makes her nauseous.

So then after we had an answer for everything she threw at us, she tried to change the subject to our 15 year old getting a job. He would love to work but work is limited with a work permit. So she got mad because we weren't forcing him to work. Hello! He is a freshman in high school...not a senior like her.

We have completely stopped buying her anything extra. But that still doesn't motivate her.

Has anyone had this issue and how did you get your child off their butt and into the workforce?


Asked by SteeleMommasita at 11:53 PM on Aug. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (22)
  • Dont worry, you are on the right track Mom. You have voiced what you expect, and you have also stopped buying her things (except essentials) You are doing what you can. She will eventually get on the ball. Give it a few more weeks of her not getting things-she will hate it so much and get a job to get those things she wants.

    Its important that she does learn the worth of a dollar though before she leaves teh nest-otherwise she will become a confused female such as myself when it comes to money and savings. She will be oblivious to credit and possibly place herself in finacial ruin-so explain these things to her. And always try your best to talk to her in a calm manner-so you guys wont be fighting. God Bless-I hope everything works out fine.

    Answer by LittleMrsBasket at 4:08 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Does she have a cell? Does she get to go out with friends? I would put a stop to all of that also.

    Answer by ldsdragonmom at 11:56 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • Put the skids to her. What is she enjoying? Computer, Cell phone, CD time, Phone calls to friends are not necessities. It is hard to get a job these days when you are a teen. Not trying is a sure recipe for not getting a job. Two of my grandkids got jobs in one try. They both work at our local market. It is possible. grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 12:07 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I agree with grannywilson, I would also take her personally to find a job.

    Answer by 7thdayBeauty at 10:02 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • She's 17. Let her be a kid. I wouldn't make my kids work during the school year. I had to and my grades suffered from it horribly. Since I was over 16 I had to close and that meant I didn't get home until after midnight some nights. And then I still had homework to do, and that thing called sleep. I almost ended up dropping out because of it and I barely graduated high school. And I didn't slack either, I worked my butt off at everything I did but there just wasn't enough time to do it all. Most days I slept during class cause I didn't get sleep at night.

    I will NEVER make my kids work during the school year.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • tell her no to be lazy ass . i got a job at 14!! DONT BUY HER ANYTHING!!! i was 14 i had no permit and i still found a job she just making uo excuses

    Answer by piwife at 11:10 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • get her in the car and start dropping her off to fill in applications. my 1st job was at a daycare and i loved it... no fast food. lol

    Answer by annelebar at 11:22 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I didn't have my first job until I was almost 18.(summer birthday) so it was after I graduated highschool. My sister and both my brothers worked while in highschool. 5 yrs later I'm the one thats most responsible w/ money. Let her be a kid for now she'll have the next 40+ yrs of her life to work.

    Answer by o0gone0o at 11:51 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Maybe she is nervous about "being a grown up" My 13 y/o daughter is totally freaked out that in a few yrs she is going to have to be responsible for everything. ( of course I tell her she has plenty of time before I kick her Im not saying keep paying for all the extras and all that, but maybe she is overwhelmed. Senior yr is demanding, there is so much pressure, college, jobs, grades, get out of mom and dads house, dont screw up, kwim? This is the LAST chance she has to be a kid, this is IT. Thats a lot to some kids. Maybe I wouldnt push her so hard....... She has a long long time after HS to work, pay the bills, and be responsible for everything

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 12:14 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • well sounds like you are getting bit in the ass for earlier mistakes ,
    It happens to most of us at one time or another.
    Does she have a cellphone ? take it
    charge her for meals like a restraunt, a fee to use hot water , a load of laundy at the wash and fluff I think runs around 2-4 bucks
    Teach her there are no free rides
    She is only 17 but if it continuse til she is of age put her out change the locks and bye some earplugs for the whine It is in her best interest to learn to make her way .

    Answer by CSRodriguez at 12:20 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

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