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Why do most men think that when they walk out the door...

...all their responsibility to their children disapears? My ex walked out, totally unexpectedly, two months ago. In one day it was just over. He has refused to discuss anything with me. He's spent less than six days total with our one-year-old daughter since he walked out. He's paid absolutely no support, which is killing me b/c I've been a sahm since she was born and am having a terrible time finding a job. I've had to depend totally on my family for support. He actually said to me that since I have full custody (we were never married) the financial responsibility should be mine. I'm so angry and hurt. Each time I see him, which is only when he picks her up and drops her off, I spend days agonizing over it. What can I do? Just so you know, I have filed for child support. We go to court on the 14th. I don't know what to do emotionally.


Asked by HaydensMommy708 at 11:20 AM on Aug. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • when it is quiet, take some time to visualize your life in a year, nothing fancy just small things that make you happy . when you are thinking of him and how hard it is to get over him, stop yourself and do this visualization of your future life. sometimes it helps to focus on your future instead of dwelling in your present. also you can remember a very tough thing that you went through in the past, remember how it felt way back then, how you thought you could not do it and feel now small that thing is now, know that this too will be in the past, relish how striong you were to get through that past thing and feel strong that you will get through this also, then do the visual thing of your future

    does this make sense, or am i talking out of my butt

    Answer by boredmom44 at 1:03 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • He sounds like a winner! Be glad he's out of your life and pray they give you tons of money from him, and be happy that he spends as little time as possible with your daughter, that's not a good influence!

    Answer by feesharose at 11:25 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • because they're stupid asses.
    just because you have full custody does NOT mean everything should be put on you unless he signed over his rights.
    he helped make the baby
    hope everything comes out good

    Answer by kittenripmaygo at 11:26 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • You're right about him not being in her life much. She used to cry, scream, hit, bite and just basically be angry. Since the day he left she has been happy, laughing, making jokes, learned how to walk in like two days. She is so much happier without him around. While I'm glad she's happier, it makes me sad that she wasn't with us together.

    Answer by HaydensMommy708 at 11:42 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Quit having children with men who won't commit. That should have let you know he'd be like this now. Just move on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I've been the same place you are. Dd was a wk shy of one when her "father" and I split up. I was a sahm with two kids under 3. The only difference is that he never came back to see her. We lived the next town over from him, literally about 10 minutes away, and whenever he saw us he would turn around and walk the other way!
    It's hard being a single mom but you'll make it and you'll find that you're a much stronger person because of it. You'll KNOW that you can do it on your own and you don't need a guy to support you. Trust me, you'll be thankful in the long run that he showed how he really is and you won't sell yourself short when you start dating again! There ARE better guys out there!!!

    Answer by cheez1e at 12:03 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I can't add anything to what the others have said except to say he is a complete ass and you and your DD are better off. But that doesn't mean it is easy to just forget him or what you wanted from your relationship. It will take time but you will move on, be happier and stronger without such a loser to hold you back.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:50 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • "Quit having children with men who won't commit."

    No offense, but your advice sucks. It makes no sense in response to this question at all. One, any man can just leave at any time, married or not. With reason or not. Two, you are giving her advice on something that she can't change because it has ALREADY happened, and is looking for advice on the current situation she is dealing with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Aug. 21, 2009