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my husband wants more kids, I don't.

My husband gets home from being deployed for 7 months really soon. He wants to try right away for another baby, and that's the last thing I want to do. We have a son, he'll be two in October. I love being a mom, but now that my son will be in daycare here in Germany for 4 hours a day, i want to start school. I just don't want more kids at all, one is enough for me. I grew up in a big family and I liked it, but its just not what I want for my family. What should I do? My husband doesn't get mad when I tell him I'm done, but he's very sad about it. makes me feel really guilty. Is there something wrong with me? Anyone else want only one?

Answer Question

Asked by pixiestix21 at 3:04 PM on Aug. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (585 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Adleast you know when to stop. i have 3 kids, 2inahalf, 1inahalf and 5inahalf,i was done after one, but then poped 2 more. i don't regret it, i just wish i had thought more about the timing

    Answer by angels4262 at 3:06 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I didn't want any. Both of mine were surprises. I'm glad I have them-but I still think about the what ifs. After my first, I had decided that 1 was enough. My BC didn't work and #2 came 17 months after #1. I kinda (?) got lucky, in a way. I had cervical cancer right after #2 and had a partial hystorectomy. I would just tell him, and remember that you have to be happy with you before you can be happy with him. If it's not what you want, don't do it. It's not fair to the kid.

    Answer by jenree33 at 3:09 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Let him come home and find out how demanding having a 2 yr old can be. Agree with him to not make any decisions until he has been home for a year and the two of you are back in a normal routine again.

    Answer by FL2AK at 3:26 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • i only want one child (didn't want any but i'm pregnant so whoops)

    if done right, i think only children are smarter and more polite. plus they will have nicer things.

    i'd get myself fixed, but if my kid dies i'd want to make another one.

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:52 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I think its normal for the person doing the most work to be iffy on another baby. I for one think one is great. I have one and she will be four in November. My family has been on my back about another one saying that NOW is the time. I shut them off . No one will make that choice for me but myself. I have to carry the child, I have to birth the child,I have to breast feed the child, I have to change the child, I have to clean the child. I told my husband when He can pay attention and take care of the one we have we can talk about it. I will not be taking care of a baby when i get no help at all...oh hell no.

    Answer by Savymom25 at 4:12 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • thank you to everyone who replied! I feel better about it, i guess I'll just have to talk more to my husband about it. Either way, i feel it's my choice because he will be deployed for another year and won't be here to help me if we had another baby. I just can't go through that again.

    Answer by pixiestix21 at 5:05 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • tell him so it gives you time.. tell him that you want to wait until he's done with the military. You don't want to have one and than he's gone in deployment while your handling both kids. Tell him once his time is up, you two will talk about it.

    Answer by starmoonlight at 11:00 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Icpjuggalette

    Answer by Icpjuggalette at 4:16 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

  • ummm thanks icpjuggalette

    Answer by pixiestix21 at 4:32 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

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