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How to talk to my tween daughter about menustration and puberty

My daughter is starting to develop her breasts and i hear that the menustration cycle will start a year or 2 after so I need to talk to her about it. I was raised by my grandma and she never talked to me about it and so what I learned was from school and friends. I want her to get the right information and feel comfortable in coming to me with questions. Can someone help me in how to talk to her? Please give me more info than "ask her what she knows."

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Asked by soymujer at 5:10 PM on Aug. 21, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (8)
  • You could watch a show that opens that door to talk about it. This might sound silly, but I always felt that Roseanne openned alot of doors to talk about life issues with my parents. Things I know are hard to start a conversation about. If you're open to it give that a try. There's that episode where Darlene gets he first period. That's a good one to watch and start talking about it. Just a suggestion.

    Answer by Imogine at 5:19 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Personally I would have already started talking to her about the early changes before they happened so she would know what to expect. The best thing you can do is go to your library and grab some books from the parenting section and also from the childrens section. There are many great books out there that help you learn how to speak to your child and books for her that you can look at together that will help her understand. other ideas are ask your pediatrician if they have handouts and samples for developing girls and also speak with your childs teacher about what they are bring taught in school. our school sends parents a notice a month before hand so we know what the topics will be . What i did with my now 11 y/o son was ask him what he knew and what he wanted to know sometimes kids will surprise you and some days he tells me "mom i need to talk to dad about this one" just be open and honest but age appropriate.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 5:19 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I know it sounds funny but go with the mechanics of it all. There was an episode on Oprah that explained it all. You basically start with girl body parts....with a printable visual...then boy parts and you answer questions honestly. Check and see if you can find the episode online!! It was one of the most informative, easy and honest ways I have seen on how to talk to your kids about sex!

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 5:25 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • There are loads of age appropriate books too. Check the growing up section at your local book store; barnes and noble has a pretty good one. American Girl has a handbook for girls going through puberty that explains what's happening and what to do about it. You might want to start with something like that and go from there so she knows the right questions to ask and she can go at her own pace rather than be overwhelmed by info from mom.

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 9:37 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • She might still be a little young for this book: but this is what I plan to buy for my daughter when she gets to that stage in her life.

    And also Hastings has books in the Young Readers section, and watching TV that deal with life situations is a good idea too.

    Answer by flatlanderjenn at 2:11 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • You should have already talked to her about this. Her body is already going through changes and she may be confused, scared and embarrassed. Why are you waiting until it happens? She may already have gotten this in health is taught in 4th and 5th grade. She needs to know that you are there for her to answer her questions without freaking out. There are a lot of books in the young adult section at the bookstore, you can call the health teacher or school nurse and ask for info from them. You also should be talking to her about sex too. Girls as young as 9 years old get their periods.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:01 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Girls as young as 9 years old get their periods. - AAHHHHH!!! My dd just turned 9 and I see the hormones starting in her already! We have briefly talked about what a period is, she was in the bathroom with me and questioned why I was wearing a pad. I think that it is better for moms to tell our girls about this than them learning grom their friends, that can cause so much misinformation. I think that if your daughter is developing than now is the perfect time to speak to her about it. I agree with Imogine, the "Roseanne" episode with Darlene's first period was a good one.

    Answer by emnasmom at 5:50 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • I don't have a daughter but I do have a son who at 10 started asking questions about sex. Finally when we did talk to him about it when he was 11 (his dad had to do all the sex talk because I just couldn't, the words would not leave my mouth) I included the menstruation cycle since all his questions originated from that. So now when I accidentally don't roll up a tampon well enough in toilet paper, he knows what is going on with mom. He is a bit grossed out about it but he knows all the ins and outs of sex and puberty for both girls and boys. Just start off slow and ease her into it. you'll be fine and guess what, so will she!

    Answer by happychick2525 at 12:45 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

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