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Control freaks as parents?

Does anyone feel that there is a fine line between strict parenting and just being a complete control freak? I know a few parents that seem to enjoy torturing their children under the guise of being "strict". Where do you draw the line? I know a mom that told me she likes to say "no" for no reason to her teenager, just because she likes to be in control. I just feel the kids know when you are being unfair. But is this a parents job?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Aug. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • Am learning myself what to say no to kids on, and what to let them have fun, and allow them to do so. Too much sweets, or junk food will say no on, or inappropiate show. Kids have to have some freedom though, and learned to be trusted to make the right choice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Yes, there is a difference. I am not a controlling mom or a very strict mom, but I do say NO for no reason, because a child needs to hear NO more often, even if it is for no reason other than it is my choice as a parent to say NO.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:28 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • well that's nice
    ranedare

    Answer by ranedare at 6:09 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Ahh....there is no fine line. There is just "hello you are a freak and your child will resent you." The illusion is you think you are in control. No, you never had any. You are not in control of what your child thinks, feels, and does. You only have control of you. As a parent you set rules, you lead by example, you are in charge of safety, and you punish only when a child needs to learn from their actions. Just saying NO to your child because you want to exercise your authority is teaching your child you are just being a bully. So you raise a bully. Good for you. Reasonable is a parent who sets boudaries, thinks before they punish, demonstrates how to correct a poor choice, allows a child to make mistakes in a safe environment, and allows their child to learn from their poor choices. I don't like the term strict, I like firm but flexable. I was told I'm "strict" but they added fair. Again, firm but flexable.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:21 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Just saying NO to your child because you want to exercise your authority is teaching your child you are just being a bully. So you raise a bully. Good for you--------------

    You are funny, too bad you have no clue. You can GIVE them everything just because they ask for it. That teaches them that they are ENTITLED to something just because they want it.

    I have told my SONS no just because, and neither is a BULLY.....
    PestPatti

    Answer by PestPatti at 8:47 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

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