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What would you do? Advice please!

My SIL and her husband have been having marrital difficulties that she thought they were working out. Yesterday while she was driving him home from work around 10pm with her 2 daughters in the car (4 and 1 1/2 months), they started to argue. While driving on the highway he took a cheeseburger and shoved it into her face to where she couldn't see and then he attempted to jump out of the car onto the highway. Their 4 year old watched this. She got him to stay in the car, dropped him off at their home and stayed the night with her MIL. She then called the police who took him to the hospital where they released him after he told them it was all her fault. She is currently spending the day at my house and does not plan on returning home with her daughters. What does she need to do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Aug. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • i am confused
    the police took the man who did this to a hospital?
    for a mental evaluation???

    has this man had mental/anger issues before

    Answer by boredmom44 at 5:32 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Ummmm leave? Why is this a question? Why do women in general think they need to stay when a man does this type of thing? I don't get it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • get a divorce and keep the kids away from him until he gets help

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 5:37 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • she should call a local abuse center, she can be anon and get some good resources
    as long as she is with you, you can help her into this idea
    this man sounds abusive and maybe sick in the head

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I agree with anon 4:39, call the local domestic violence shelter and ask them where to go from here

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:47 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • well if she is tired of living like that, exposing her kids to bthe b.s. then she should leave.first of all you say they were trying to work things out which means things weree not good"it's not the first time and people do get tired she needs to pray for strength cuz I'm sure she luvs him. but it's too much for her and her kids. tell her it's nothing like having a peace of mind.

    Answer by mohterofnations at 5:55 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • OP here

    He started acting "unbalanced" after their 2nd daughter was born. He was the product of an alcoholic mother and abusive father. My SIL started seeing a marraige counselor, when things got worse she packed up the kids and came to my house for a week. They started seeing the counselor together and began talking to each other more. He came back to live at the house. He has never been physically violent before this episode, he became mentally abusive after she came home with their second baby.
    She will not go back to their house while he is there. She is to strong to let her daughters see that, she has tried to get the relationship to work because they are married and she loves him, though she may have lost that after last night.
    He had agreed that he has a mental problem ?Manic depression? but doesn't have insurance to be treated for another month... cont....

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • OP cont....

    She called the police and asked that the take him to the hospital so he could be observed, so he could be treated, so he could be better and become himself again. Instead he lied to the staff there saying that my SIL was a crazy b*tch who called the cops on him because he told her he wanted a divorce, that he doesn't love her, so on and so forth. They believed the man that tried to jump out of a car going 70mph, that shoved a burger in the face of his wife while she was driving home (70mph) with their 2 little girls in the car, and sent him home saying he's not a risk to himself.

    What should she do to protect herself and her girls from him turning this around on her when she is trying to do what is right for her family?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Sorry, but I laughed at the cheeseburger bit. Well, I think there are processes for getting someone put under 'observation' in a mental hospital for 72 hrs. She can probably do that if they didn't already do it at the hospital. It sounds like he is a danger to himself and def. to her and the kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • this is the OP-

    anon 638- she had the police take him to the hospital for obs and he lied to them and sent him home. They made an appt. for him to keep at the crisis center. He called and asked if he had to go, they asked him a few questions over the phone and told him he didn't have to keep the appt. This is maddening and we can't wrap our heads around it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

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