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How do i discipline the undisciplinable?!?!?

Ok, my son is usually a well-behaved boy. Albiet, he is a BOY, so he does do some naughty things from time to time. And when he does, there is no way to discipline him! I tried the no attempt, and he just tells me no-no right back. he even points his little finger at me and yells no-no @ me. i tried swatting his hand if he did something like draw on the fridge (which he has done!!!) and he just looked at me like i was crazy. My hubby swatted him on the butt one time (not hard at all, just because he wouldn't listen to anything else!!!) which we dont hardly ever do, but sometimes we can't do anything else... AND HE LAUGHED AT HIM!!!! it was awful. He thinks its funny when he does something bad!!! It's driving us crazy!!! we have even tried time outs, but he'll just sit there & then sit there for some time after he's done being on time out with this look on his face like "so what, you made me sit. woo-hoo" ARRRGH!!!!!

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Asked by adrians_mommy at 6:12 PM on Aug. 21, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • Does he have a favorite toy or wubby (aka blankie) ? If so take it from him. This is what worked for my DD who will be the death of me. I told my DH once that if it weren't for her looking so much like me I would swear she was switched at birth! He just laughed!

    Answer by jenree33 at 6:16 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • no. he acts like it's no big deal. it's like dealing with a teenager sometimes lol! it's awful! everything we do, he's just got this attitude like "so what?" DH's family just laughs and tells him "what goes around comes around tenfold" cuz he was a monster as a kid too, lol

    I love him to death, but without a way to discipline him, he will really be a monster!!!

    Answer by adrians_mommy at 6:18 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I feel for ya! My MIL told me the same about my DD. She watches mine while I'm at work. I think what finally got to my DD was the fact that she thought I was truly mad at her. My son would ask Mommy are you happy? If I said I was upset with Kenna, she would get upset and cry and want to be held. I'm sorry I can't help more.....

    Answer by jenree33 at 6:20 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • You need a consistent method and it sounds like you are trying "trial & error" which is what most of us do until we come across something that works. For us, that was "Parenting with Love & Logic".

    The telling you "no-no" back is mimicking your behavior which is normal, esp. if he spends the day with you. Ours is a clone of me. Coloring on the wall is something he missed in "toddler school" where they explained what NOT to do. He has to be taught, and won't get it the first time. (I have wallpaper missing from several places, I'm going to re-do it when he goes to college. J/K!) BTW, he thinks it's funny that he got your attention.

    Back to L&L, when he colors on the wall, SING (positive reimforcement) "Uh-oh, you have earned some bedroom time". Put him (walk if he will, carry if he won't) in his room and ask him if he wants the door open or closed. If he doesn't choose, close the door.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:27 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • (con't) If he tries to come out, close the door and hold it for 2 minutes (like in time out). We only did this twice with ours, and now I can put him in him room, tell him when he's able to play without marking on the wall I want him to come back. I leave the door open, walk out, and though he cries, he will come out in about 30 seconds and be "sorry" and we go back to playing.

    It's pretty much about letting him have consequences for his choices. He made a bad choice, and got bedroom time. Next time maybe he will make a better choice. I know it sounds "iffy" but it has helped us big time. I am only giving you one tiny example. There are many. There's a Parenting with Love & Logic group on CM if you want to check it out. It goes from tots to teens and is amazing. Also, look at "1-2-3, Magic" it's a good one, too.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:32 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • PS-We are foster parents, can't spank, (don't think we would if we could) and wanted an alternative that we could live with. Good luck!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:33 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • While many mothers are completely opposed to spanking a child, I am not. But it is also not my first option. I use it as a last resort. When my son has been through all my other "tricks" and nothing is working, the only thing I have left to do is to make the consequences for his actions SSSSSSOOOOO uncomfortable/disagreeable/painful, that he will think twice before doing it again. The pat on the butt won't do anything if there is nothing there to make him NOT want it again. Put some power behind it and make it sting! He will remember that pain of that spanking and he can't laugh at you when he is crying.

    Answer by Eco-Mother at 8:22 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • in addition......what worked for my son may not work for yours. Each child requires a different approach. There isn't one way that works for all children. Some you can talk to and tell them you are disappointed in them and that does the trick, others you have to wear their hide out for them get it.

    Answer by Eco-Mother at 8:25 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Stop trying to be the big bad boss all the time. Too many "no''s = a child rebelling, because he has no freedom. It's not not necessary for parents to be in control all the time, Allow your son some freedoms, ones that don't compromise his health and safety. For example, let him pick out whtat outfit her can wear for the day. Let him decide if he will have peas or carrots for dinner. Spanking is not the answer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • have you tried telling him WHY he shouldn't do things, instead of telling him "no?" He may be looking at you like "WTF" because he doesn't understand why you're reprimanding him.

    Take things away, and tell him "I'm taking your toy because you threw your dinner" or whatev. I read in a book once that parents should try to stay away from just saying no all the time, it reinforces a very negative environment. Explain to them!! They understand better than we give them credit for.

    Answer by p3rdone at 10:54 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

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