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Anyone else not like kids after having them?

Please no bashing. I LOVE my son with all of my heart. He is definitely a blessing to me and my husband. But he was not planned (I understand the birth control thing, please do not tell me about abstinence and whatnot-sometimes people who are taking precautions still get pregnant. And I am not going to sit around and not have sex with my husband). Anyhow, I do not feel that I am a good mother. I DO take care of my son, I feed and clothe him and bathe him and he has plenty of toys, love and affection and kisses...I just don't feel motherly. Most of my friends have a kid similar in age to mine, and are all wanting another. I don't. I don't wish my son was never born...I just don't feel like having him around a lot of the time. I don't have a lot of patience. My own mother was not very motherly, so I never really had much of an example I guess. Anyone know how I feel? I need to know I am not alone.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Aug. 21, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • don't feel bad. You do not have to give your child up for adoption, that's ridiculous.

    This is the way I always put it: "I love my son, but GOD I hate kids!" As in, I just don't like children. I think they're annoying. But my son is pretty cool.

    Answer by p3rdone at 10:49 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • You could give him up for adoption. There are moms out there who would love to take care of him and love him.

    Answer by ldsdragonmom at 8:39 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I know EXACTLY how you feel. I love my son with all my heart, but I still feel that way. Precisely. And I dont want anymore children for a *long* time. Like, 18 years from now long.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Some people just don't have a nurturing instinct. As long as you don't hurt or neglect him I don't think your a bad mom at all. Some people develop a nurturing, motherly instinct, some don't. You should though keep this in mind if you ever divorce your husband . LOL j/k

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • personally I think if you going to do the dirty and take the chance of having a kind you shouldn't say you dont like them. I had a child at the age of when i just turned 19 years old. I wouldn't change it for the world. like the other lady said could of gave him up for adoption

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • i have never liked kids, they're just stupid versions of adults. yeah yeah bash me, i'm seven months pregnant and will probably do the same thing you are doing now. love it because its mine and a piece of my husband who is AWESOME. but yeah, not everyone likes kids and wants lots of them, youre fine.

    Answer by staciandababy at 8:45 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • i love my kids. dont get me wrong they get on my nerves. but my children are the best thing that ever happen to me

    Answer by piwife at 9:03 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • u NEED to try and NOT be like ur mother. Think about it for a lil bit how did ur mother make u feel? like shit right? well most kids grow up treating their kids like they were treated as a child. u need to change it for ur son so he doesnt grow up hurtin and doin the same to his. anywho u need to talk to a shrink might not sound fun or w/e but u honestly sound like u need to. Does ur husband know how u feel? if not u need to talk to him about it. EVEN if he doesnt agree! It sounds like u have Post P Depression and IT DOES NOT matter how old the child is u can still have it when they are a toddler. Alot of woman say things like u have and said u will never hurt ur child but it doesnt get better by itself and could get worse. U really need the help for ur son. if u feel u cant deal then u need to give him to ur husband and leave or give him to someone who can bc its not right for him to be with a mother that wishes he wasnt born

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I feel that way all the time. I try really hard to just get over it though, because I love my daughter and I don't want her to ever think she wasn't wanted. It is a very complicated emotion, whatever this is... Sometimes I wonder if it is PPD?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • How olds your son? Could it be ppd? I had a hard time with my first with feelings of depression. I also felt I was an unfit mother but I also loved mt son unconditionally. I still wonder if I'm doing more bad than good sometimes. However, these feelings can be good. It makes you evaluate your role as a mother and continually try and improve. For all those that think adoption would be a better option do not know your situation. You may actually be a much better mom! You just have a lot of doubt. If you think its depression related, talk to your doctor. Antidepressants and a good nights sleep really helped me. Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Aug. 21, 2009