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Why can't women have male friends?

Hi all! I need your opinion on this one. I recently became reaquainted with a male that I used to work with nine years ago. We had a great relationship working together. He is now married with three children, and asked if I could meet him for lunch sometime to catch up. I see nothing wrong with this. My husand says that I am naive if he thinks that it is a good idea for a male and female who are not in a relationship to go out to lunch by themselves. I'm having a problem with his trust factor. Am I wrong in thinking that women and men can be just friends? My husband seems to think that all men want is sex. What do you ladies think? Is my husband overreacting, or am I in the wrong for even suggesting that he let me go to lunch with my old coworker?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Aug. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • lol he is right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • I think men and women can be just friends. Sometimes it doesn't work for long... generally when you have a good enough connection with a man that you can be good friends you could be a whole lot more than that, KWIM? So it's a good idea to keep some distance there. But I don't think it's true that all men want is sex. I just don't. I have a couple friends who are men.... don't see them often, and we've never been out to lunch or anything, but I know that I don't have romantic feelings for them either.

    I think your husband shoudl trust you more than that.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:23 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • Your DH is right. Men might say (to just please you) They just want to be friends. But they really want to be F*&k friends(Friends with benifites) with you. Unless that guy is gay.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:26 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • As a Christian and a married woman I am against this. You have to live above reproach. Don't give appearance of evil. What if someone sees you too and it causes problems with his marriage. I say go to lunch and dinner but with the spouses. That way no one can say anything.
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 11:37 PM on Aug. 21, 2009

  • i have a billion guy friends, some yes, are gay, but either way gay, straight, or whatever, my man knows how much i love him, and that i would NEVER EVER EVER do anything to hurt him, My guy friends come over sometimes, and my man knows, and theres NO issue. I think if you have to even "ask" your man if its ok, Youre relationship needs work in the trust area. Im sorry, i just see husbands be jerks to their wifes ALL day, and i want to give them an earful for it. I HATE that!
    HaviksMum

    Answer by HaviksMum at 12:00 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • In a way you are both right. I don't think that a married woman should ever be alone with a man who is not her husband, and vice versa. But it opens things up for interpretation and mistrust. Even the slightest twinge of a smile on your face about your lunch could trigger something in your husband and make him not trust you even if it is completely unfounded.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:09 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I don't see a problem with having guy friends. I work in an office with mostly men that I've become friends with, in a fairly male-oriented business. (We work with a lot of general contractors). If I was *never* alone around a married man, I wouldn't be able to even go into the office.

    There are times there will be some sexual tension. I have had it come up and some times it's not even an issue. It's only when the tension exists and is causing problems for either one of your relationships that it's a problem.
    geminilove

    Answer by geminilove at 1:51 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • The hubby is right. So unless you're ready to have an affair invite his wife and your hub along.
    SugarBE

    Answer by SugarBE at 4:54 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I think it is fine to be friends with the opposite sex just be sure that you don't expect to have time alone. If it is just friendly why not invite spouses? I have lots of male friends but I am never alone with any of them. THey are all friends with my hubby as well and even tho I knew some of them first we are all friends and I make sure there is no alone time when we hang out it is a group.
    If you two are really close then I am sure your spouses will like each other as well. You never know you all might become such good friends that you do everything together
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 11:44 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

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