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How do you initiate the talk of having an open relationship!?

I'd really love to try an open relationship, but can't help but think that'd I'd get too jealous.


I love sex but it's so boring with my husband now.. sooo boring. I want to explore my options, I'm only 25.. and don't want to have boring sex for the rest of my life.. and he isn't into trying new things.

I'd really like to bring this up to him but have noooo idea how.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Aug. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • why not surprise him w/something new first? b/c to me, if my husband brought something like that up, i'd probably tell him to go pack a bag and show him where the door was. maybe get something simple like a lotion or lube and go from there. take charge, blindfold him, tie his wrists to the headboard, something not too scary that will let him see that different isn't always bad.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:15 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • okay first how..you already said you might be too jealous..in order to have an open relationship jealously CAN NOT be an issue. if you get to be with someone else so does he. also self consicness cant be an issue eiether, can you handle the thought of him making love to another woman? if not than you dont want an open realtionship..also the chance of him getting another woman pregnant is there or you becoming pregnant as well..(accidents do happen). and be sure you REALLY want this..it can ruin a relationship soo fast. and what happens if you get attached to the person you are seeing?or if your husband gets atratched to another woman? its just not a good idea..id try to talk with him about how you're feeling. seriously try new things..ask him about tryingnew things. bringing others into your relationship will only complicate it further.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I would say that if you are thinking about that, you probably should be considering a divorce. Sex is not all there is to a relationship or marriage. It sounds like you are very immature in your thinking Deary.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Haha, I'm still young, and been with the same guy for 6 years.. is it really so terrible to want some variety? It's not like I'm just going out there & cheating.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • well if youre with a man other than your husband, guess what? that's cheating. would you seriously be ok with some other woman riding your husband and sitting on his face. knowing that he'll be caressing another womans face and kissing her. and possibly getting her pregnant. what happens if you get pregnant with this other guy? Please think before you do something that is incredible morally wrong. when you take your vows one of them is to forsake all others.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I agree w/trying something new first. If you asked your husband, he may not take it very well, and you may not be able to fix it. Try Sex in the City. I remember when Kim Cantrell was with Smith they played games. he was the repair man & husband was on his way home, or they met as strangers in a bar & he picked her up, etc. Maybe you both could watch an episode & say that looks like fun lets try it once. Good Luck
    moneymagnetmom

    Answer by moneymagnetmom at 3:10 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • There are other ways to bring the excitement back to your sex life without bringing another person into it. Try some of the thousands of different toys, go to Hustler together, or something like that, to an adult store. Find something you would both find fun. I only say this because an open relationship is VERY hard to have in a marriage. I have never tried it, and probably never will, just because i'ts not my thing. I don't judge you if you do have an open relationship as long as its consentual. But I have had a few friends whose marriages were ruined by open relationships because in their case, there wasn't a strong enough bond between the wife and husband for them to get over the jealousy and feelings of inadequacy, etc, that go along with an open marriage. It's not as fun and wonderful as some might make it out to be, at least from what I have seen of their marriages.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 7:39 AM on Aug. 22, 2009