A woman realizes that she cannot parent so when she gives birth (or shortly prior), she works with an adoption agency and makes an adoption plan. The baby is loved and cared for from day one.
A woman realizes that she cannot parent but does nothing about it. She delivers the baby, and struggles and struggles, the baby suffers eventually to the point that it is taken by Foster care, the baby is bounced back and forth until he is 6 yrs old where he finally is adopted. The baby now has (lifelong) issues with trust, behavior, etc.
Why on here are couples so terrible for adopting the baby in the first scenario and so wonderful for adopting in 2nd. Why did the baby have to suffer before the women on here find it acceptable to adopt.
And I am not saying every bmom on here who placed would have had their child taken, I am specifically addressing babies that would be taken by CPS.
Asked by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on Aug. 22, 2009 in Adoption
Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:21 AM on Aug. 22, 2009
Answer by doodlebopfan at 7:58 AM on Aug. 22, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 AM on Aug. 22, 2009
Answer by Steff107 at 8:23 AM on Aug. 22, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on Aug. 22, 2009
I have never seen animosity against adoptive parents anywhere but here on CM. I don't understand how anyone can think people who want to adopt are doing something wrong no matter what the situation is.
Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on Aug. 22, 2009
doodlebop:.... I guess the way to look at it was had your child's bmom made an adoption plan prior to birth, that child would still have been adopted and still wouldnt have been raised by his natural parents.
On here, had you adopted that SAME child at birth you would be a baby-stealer yet because the baby had to go through the system, you are one of the good guys.
And I have underservingly felt that way on here at times (and perhaps even put myself on a pedastal at times-I am sorry). That's why I don't want anyone to think that we are one of the "good guys" implying that there are "bad guys". All adoptions are unique and individual experiences to the specific parties involved.
Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:28 AM on Aug. 22, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 10:03 AM on Aug. 22, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Aug. 22, 2009
What every person needs to know is that until women and children have access to resources and assistance on a national level then we will continue to have women who make adoption plans based on lack of finances and fear of how to support their baby and family. The changes need to start with talking to your representatives about increasing support for things like eligibility for PA and access to health care. Those are for starters. How about housing for single moms? Its about what is and is not available. When reality meets the road, the real situation is that there just are a lot of kids out there who do not have their basic needs met. I worked with kids who were starving. Moms don't want to see that for their kids. They are looking at reality. What is a woman going to do when her baby is sick, needs a script, the ER won't fill it, and she was denied for Medicaid? That IS our reality. Want to change it? So do I.
Answer by frogdawg at 9:52 PM on Aug. 22, 2009