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my daughter is sixteen and pregnant she wants an abortion

my daughter is sixteen she made a mistake she wants to terminate the pregnancy the boys family is spuorive but she says no i don't want the baby it will ruin my future i told her she should of came to me and told me she is four weeks pregnant wat do you all think i have told her about the procedure and she is still wanting to go through it im not mad at her i will help her out she is so scared of her dad and i told her at that moment you wernt scared

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Aug. 22, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (22)
  • Might not be the best time to say I told you so.... Honestly and I know I'll be bashed, I think you should respect her choice. As long as she knows all her options and still wants to go through with it, it is her decision. I don't think at 16 she even needs your permission.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Present her other options. I am a pro-life woman, but ultimately she was adult enough to make the baby, and she will have to make all decisions regarding her pregnancy and birth, and if she keeps the baby, parenting afterward. Explain to her that she can give a couple who has been trying and wanting a baby so badly a chance to be loving parents and not have to destroy a life in the process. Tell her that she really needs to think about it because many MANY women have horrible regrets about having had an abortion later in their lives. Everyone I know who has had an abortion regrets it.
    Tell her that it will make finishing school and going to college more difficult but that she CAN do it.

    Finally, tell her that no matter what she decides she needs to start practicing birth control EVERY TIME. Offer to help her choose her method. And support her and love her. Make sure she knows you will be there and help her w/birth
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:45 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I would have to agree with anon 11:42. It's up to her. This is a decision that she will have to live with for the rest of her life. Although it affects your entire family she has the ulltimate choice to make. Support and love is all you can give her now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • tell her that its okay to make mistakes when we do teh right thing to correct that mistake. Having unprotected sex was a big mistake but taking the life an innocent child will only bury that mistake under a mountain of more mistakes. The majority of women who have had an abortion can tell you it is a mistake that haunts you for the rest of your life and you are NEVER The same person. There is no honor in having an abortion and it is something she will have to keep a deep dark secret fro her entire life. BUT there is honor in doing the adult thing and carrying this pregnancy to term and then giving that child a family it deserves, perhaps a couple hwo have tired desperately for years to haev children and never could. She chose to make an adult decision and have sex and she needs to do teh adult thing adn deal with the consequences. The fact is she will never get to be a child again and she needs to come to terms with that cont
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 11:47 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • no you are wright its my fault in part but i have told her everything and i wil suporte her but she still says no
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • No bashing from me...
    As long as she has all her options laid out before her and knows exactly what they are and what they entail, it's her decision. At 16 I think she can decide for herself. And no, I don't think she will need parental permission, but it would be nice if she had your support in whatever she decides to do.
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:49 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • find women who have given up their children for adoption, had abortions and women who raised their babies at a young age upon talking to these women I think she will see the clear adn best choice is adoption whether she chooses open or closed. Remember she is just a child and truly isn't capable of making this decision on her own if she wasnt responsible enough to use portection or abstain she is not responsible enough to make this decision. Its going to be hard no matter what she does but and adoption will not torment for her the rest of her life in fact it is a really beautiful thing and a great opportunity to turn something really negative into a truly beautiful and wonderful experience
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 11:50 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Oh Ladies, get off your high horses. She made a mistake, which is common with teens. Stop bashing and try to be supportive of this mom the OP. She doesn't need the lecture.

    Anyway, if your daughter is set on an abortion then get her in for a few therapy sessions so that she can realize the full impact of the decision before she makes it. After that, support her in her choice, whatever it is.
    Good Luck Momma, I can not even imagine how hard this is for you and your daughter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • She says she doesn't want the baby. Support her and her decision, an abortion is probably the right choice for a 16 year old. Make sure she gets on BC afterward though so this won't happen again.

    I don't agree with PP up there. For me, having a child when I don't want to and giving it up for adoption is the worst thing I could do. That would haunt me all my life, knowing that I have a child out there somewhere. An abortion would be much less painless IMO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I agree with another poster...try to get her to talk with women who have been in the same situation. I know most people who abort when they are younger really regret it later in life especially once they are married and start having other children. I think adoption is a great choice but in the end it is her choice. At 16 she is young and not really as mature in her thinking even though we all think we are at that age...lol. I sometimes feel abortion is an "easy" way out, people need to learn when mistakes are made it's not so easy to change them or get out of them. Seems these innocent lives are the only "mistakes" people can fix. I think too if the father of the baby and his family want the baby why not turn custody over to them. I do wish you both the best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

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