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All she says is I want that I want this...

my daughters friend apparently is from a struggling family. She was with us the other day while I was going through some boxes from our recent move. We came across some of my daughters smaller shoes, some of my shoes, and halloween costumes. She tried everything on...she is almost 8 and she was wanting toddler shoes, my shoes, she would say these will fit me about everything. It was getting on my nerves. She went with us to the mall and while we were riding the escalator she said that it was so fun and she had never done that before. You would have thought she was at Disneyland! I feel bad for her but I do not know what to do about it. She is so much larger than my daughter that I do not have anything to even pass along. Would it be insulting to her parents if I bought her new items?

 
Noosa

Asked by Noosa at 12:57 PM on Aug. 22, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 20 (8,483 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I agree that she may expect you to buy her things every time if you do it once. Thats sort of child mentality. If you really do want to do something maybe you could let the two girls do a joint "chore" together such as washing the car (You know something that doesnt need to be done very often) then take them to some yard sales. you can get alot for a little at yard sales and you can haggle which is fun. so you guys get to have a fun day, then she can get some things she may need and you were able to help out without having to do an all out shopping spree.
    SaturnsMom

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 8:15 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • You shouldn't have to feel obligated to buy her things. I would think it would be starting something that you can't undo. Everytime she's with you she will expect it. Maybe pass on a purse or something she can wear in her hair. Ask your daughter to share some pretty barrets with her. I don't have girls but I do have a rule, I don't take other peoples kids shopping with us.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:02 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • You cant give everyone everything. It's good of you to want to give, but them you become obligated after a while. Dont stick yourself with that. She will never have enough.
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 2:04 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Does she have younger siblings? Or maybe she really wanted the toddler shoes for some dolls or something? That may explain that.

    As for the struggling part, is she really struggling or do you think she just wants stuff? I would definately find that out before even considering buying her something.

    If she really does need something maybe do a "girly day" with your daughter and tell her she can invite So-and-So - and play it all up as special so they know it's more of a one time shot rather than something that's going to happen all the time. Maybe get them both an outfit or two including some cute socks and a couple pairs of underwear, maybe small purses for the girls if they're into that stuff, a selection of a special hair things and a cute thing of lip gloss or something "grown up" and then take them to lunch.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • You can get her a few things and just say that you bought the wrong size for your daughter and can't return them because they were on clearance. The parents may be more grateful than you realize. I wouldn't be offended if a friend offered me clothes and shoes that my son needed when I was struggling.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:47 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

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