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Is it fair to punish you kid for doing something when you weren't paying attention?

If they get into something while you were busy or just not paying attention, is it fair to punish them for your oversight?

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bltcahill

Asked by bltcahill at 1:42 PM on Aug. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • it sure is how else are they going to learn to to do bad when ur not around?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • It is if the child knows better. If the child doesn't know (s)he's doing anything wrong, then absolutely not. The child should be disciplined, but not punished.
    jellyphish

    Answer by jellyphish at 1:44 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I guess it depends on what it is. If it's something they know they are not supposed to be into because they've been told about it, they get punished. If it's something new, they get scolded and told not to get into it again. I'm not perfect, I'm going to miss things sometimes, but that's not a reason to let them get away with things they shouldn't be doing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • wow i messed that up. i ment....it sure is how else are they goin to learn NOT to do bad when ur not around? if u dont punish them then its telling them its ok to mess things up or to do w/.e u want when im not looking
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • NOOOOOOOOO! It's not right! The parent should be punishing themselves!
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 1:53 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • It depends on the situation.. Like my son used to be really bad about getting into stuff when he knew I was busy doing other stuff you damn right I spanked him over it. If I was just thought "oh it was my fault because I was busy or not paying attention" and didn't do or say anything to him how is he going to know it's wrong and not to do it again? The kid will just think oh well I can get by with this anytime mom or dad is busy doing something else.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 1:56 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I'm not punishing them for "my oversight", I'm punishing them for whatever behavior they were doing that they were not supposed to be doing. If I should have been paying attention to them when it happened and I wasn't, I'd probably be more lenient but they absolutely need to know that what they were doing was not ok whether I'm right there or not when they do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • It depends on the age of the child. Should you punish a 12 month old for getting into something when you were not looking, no. Should you punish a 3 year old, definitely. My child (3.5) is expected to behave when I'm not in the room, as well as when she's with friends or family or at preschool. If you don't punish a child because you were in another room, that just teaches the child that he can act poorly whenever you are out of the room.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 2:02 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Are you saying that a child is not responsible for their own behavior? If the child knows the rules but broke them when you weren't looking, then of course they should be punished. If it's something new, then use the opportunity to teach the child the rules. But you can't just say that because you weren't watching the child isn't in the wrong. that would teach the child that it's OK to run red lights as long as there isn't a cop watching you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • if my daughter got into something, knowing she wasn't supposed to, just b/c i wasn't right there standing over her at the time she'd get into trouble. however if it were something she didn't know she wasn't supposed to mess with (which at her age is pretty much nothing b/c she knows not to get into something if its not hers) i'd talk to her explain that in the future she is not to touch it and have her help me pick it up.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:24 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

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