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I found out my husband talked to his ex-girlfriend a few times and he didnt tell me. I even found out that he went to the park with her, her daughter and MY son. But they both say that they are ONLY friends. And he says that hes not gonna talk to her anymore and even changed his number. What would you do if you found out something like this about your husband?

ex's, cheating, marriage help

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tzs_fam

Asked by tzs_fam at 12:45 PM on Jun. 23, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • Wow, I would be suspicious. Why did he change his number if they are truly just friends? Why didn't he invite you to go with them to the park? How did you find out about all this? I would keep my eyes wide open but don't be too quick to judge, it may all be very innocent.
    deed404

    Answer by deed404 at 12:53 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • This is a lie and a breach of trust. I would be livid! I think we should be asking him ...Why he felt the need to not tell you? If there was nothing going on then what was the problem with being open with you? Why did he change his number? Did they have a falling out? ...he lied by omission before sooo I would not necessarily believe him this time. I would be angry, hurt and very mis-trusting. It is now his job to fix what he broke. The only way to do that is to rebuild the trust and be completely open and honest in the future about where he is and who he is with. If he cannot or will not do this...throw in the towel.
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 12:54 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • I think he should've told you about it up front, and I'd probably be a little upset, but don't get TOO upset. They went to the park with the kids. My advice... TALK to him about it. If he says he won't talk to her anymore, then hopefully he won't.
    crazysocks830

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 1:10 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • I myself have spoken with an ex over the phone b/c I was just curious how he was. I would never meet with him unless I wanted it to go further. I've heard my husband say there's no place for others in a marriage. Spouses come first. I think he was curious and brought your son b/c he's proud of him. Maybe he felt she would cause problems so he changed his number...maybe it was just for you to feel better. I'd be careful to judge until I know he is not seeing anyone, personally. But me, I'd let him know how personal I take that and how very much it hurt me. He'd have to understand he just took your relationship back a bit.
    Momchipomkids

    Answer by Momchipomkids at 1:20 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Yea he changed the number cause I told him to because she had it. He says he doesnt want nothing to do with her. And that he didnt know I was gonna get so upset because he has never been in a situation like this. Since this has happened..me and him are actually stronger and have a 'better' relationship..but its still hard for me to trust him. I know its gonna take time.
    tzs_fam

    Answer by tzs_fam at 1:36 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • My SO was hanging out with his EX..he swore up and down they were just friends..and the dumbass I am believed him. 3 days later I found out he had been cheating on me the whole time
    kelcee_eric_bry

    Answer by kelcee_eric_bry at 2:14 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • If he had no naughty intentions he should have told you. If he thought you would have had a problem with it, then he shouldn't have done it in the first place! If he knows what is good for him he will never do it again and he will work hard to make it up to you and earn your trust back! Don't let him fool you!
    TrizzlesMizzle

    Answer by TrizzlesMizzle at 2:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Ask yourself this, why did he keep it from you? I think he was either wanting something to happen and it didn't or something did happen between the two of them. Why else would a man hang out with his ex then change his number? It makes no logical sense.
    sararsara

    Answer by sararsara at 2:45 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Okay if he changed the number becasue you told him to then its obvious that he doesnt want you to be upset by it.Maybe he just talked to her because like we all know relationships are complicated.Just becasue they are over doesnt mean he doesnt still want her to be happy and know if she is happy.Havent you ever thought about an ex out of nowhere or ran into them?The fact that he brought your son along doesnt that imply that it wasnt anything major?I mean your son can talk he must have known that your son could tell on him if anything was going on.Maybe it was a simple hey lets catch up adn take the kids for a play date.Ask yourself would you be so mad if he had been open and honest about the play date in the park?
    Selica03

    Answer by Selica03 at 3:40 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • I would rant and rave and be so angry

    BUT

    At the end of the day: does he love you, does he want to spend the rest of his life with you, does he believe in the sanctity of marriage - if all these answers are yes - then put this behind you and carry on.

    People break up - split up - divorce so easily. Cling to what is good in your relationship, set the boundaries (eg honesty at all times - even playdates with ex's) and build on what you got.
    busymum66

    Answer by busymum66 at 4:03 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

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