Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

After your child was born, how long did you need help?

A friend of mine has no family in the area. Her husbands family is about an hour away. After the baby is born, her mother is coming to stay with them for a week and then she has to go back to work. My friend wants to move with her mom for 6 weeks (5 hours away) and then when she has to go back to work, move back home with her husband. Her husband hates this idea and honestly, I do too. It's not my life, but I was just wondering if this was normal.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Aug. 22, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (65)
  • I had two c-sections. After my first I had my husband stay home for about 3-4 days, until I could stand and sit without help. With my second I had my mother stay with us for a week to watch my 19 month old and my hubby was home a few days to help me. So I had help no more than a week, and that was more then long enough for me.

    Answer by Carajust at 3:52 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • My in-laws live 1 1/2 hours away and my parents live 2 1/2 hours away and we know no one here where we live and we had NO help just us. What the hell is she gonna do when the child is sick? Run to mommy!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • The last time I had a baby I had a 6 year old boy and a 5 year old girl at home. My husband was home with me for 3 days and then had to go back to work. I did just fine. Granted, a few more days of help would have been nice, but it wasn't an option.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I did everything from the time I came home from the hospital. Never had any help.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:59 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Well, honestly, I didnt really need help at all. Even when my family and in laws came, I was still the one cooking and cleaning, just now with a baby too. The one thing I did need help with when they came was home furnishings... like we didnt have lamps or a couch, our fridge was empty until payday, dressers or new pillows or towels, things like that. And they did help out in that way, which I am grateful for. As far as baby? Psssht. Theres nothing they could do to help me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • she may find she doesn't need much help so encourage her to take advantage of the week with her mom and see how she feels then.

    Answer by atlshine at 4:09 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I had no help besides hubby when he came home. Granted if you have a c-section I can understand needing more help. Or if you have several kids. But with my one DD normal birth nothing wrong with the baby, I see no need for help.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 4:11 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • It's not unheard of. I have a friend who had a baby in March. Her mom was here a week prior & 3 weeks after her delivery. This was her 2nd, she also had a 2 y/o in potty training. She got really depressed after her mom left, wasn't getting the help she thought she needed at home, not getting the sleep she needed, was breast-feeding, etc. and she ended up going to her Mom's with both babies out of state for about 6 weeks. Hubby wasn't happy about it, but wifee-poo came home more refreshed and relaxed. Hubby was happy about the return trip. Different people have different needs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • My mom lives nearby she came if I needed her but my husband helped me a couple of days with my first then with my second my mom didnt help but my husband did he took off maybe a week to help

    Answer by MoMMyto2971 at 4:16 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I had an emergency c-section and I had no help at all. My husband was totally unsympathetic and didn't really care if I needed help or not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.