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Enough is Enough - Did I go too far?

My 20 y/o DD ran off when she was 18 and moved home last Oct. when she was pregnant. After her 6 wk checkup we insisted she get a job and pay some rent. It too her over 2 mos to choose one (she turned 3 down) and we only ask for $150 per month rent and $50 per month childcare.
I have been raising my GDD 90% of her life & my DD treats me like dirt and goes against everything I've done.
Tonight was the last straw. She told me she doesn't like my style in clothes and if she sees them on her baby she will take them right off. I hit her upside the head (not hard) and then gave her 30 days notice to move out.
It has all been building up - the unappreciation, negativity, the commands, disrespect, and irresponsibility. I finally had it.
But did I go too far? Do I have the right to kick my child out? I'm so afraid for my granddaughter, but I'm not liking my DD at all.
I feel sick to my stomach and angry at the same time.


Asked by PrydferthMenyw at 8:27 PM on Aug. 22, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 19 (6,685 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Tough love is the hardest kind to give, but usually what is needed in situations like this. Usually the child that is hardest to love, is the one that needs it most...even if it is tough love.

    If your DD is not doing the things you agreed upon when she first came back home, then you are doing the right thing. She needs to learn to stand on her own two feet. It doesn't make you love her any less, if anything you are loving her more, by making her take responsibility for her life and that of her child.
    Sorry you are having such a hard time...this too shall pass.

    Answer by salexander at 11:10 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • hitting was a bad idea, kicking her out was a good idea, in fact its probably the best thing you have ever done for her tell her your gd can stay but she has got to go shell grow up adn figure it out

    Answer by katiekruschke at 8:34 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • mommy you gotta think whats best and whats best is for your girl to grow up,when do expect her to get a reality check? she needs to keep her mouth shut and have some respect for her mom who is trying to make things easy for her,when she is moving out tell her youll buy the baby clothes and that what ever you buy you will take the tags off so she cant return it,what an brat thinking she can tell her mom that she dont like your style.she need to grow up otherwise she will make an awful mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • You gotta set guidelines and stick by them.....if you dont you are enabling her to be this way. Its hard especially since she is carrying your grandbaby...but you gotta do what you gotta do....for HER OWN good...even if she doesnt realize it now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • i know its hard and i havnet made it that far yet with my dd but they have to get out on there own sometime,im worried my stepson will never leave,he is in the 10th grade and has been failing every class for the last is said that no 2 women can live together.just have a talk with her so u guys leave on some what good terms,

    Answer by angelairelan at 8:55 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • The only place you went to far was hitting her. Be really careful She could press assault charges. As a grandmother raising her grandchildren I am telling you I know exactly how hard the choices you're making now are. DD has to stand on her own. Give her written notice. Legally, she doesn't have to leave unless she gets 30 days written notice. I know it sucks having to serve it to your own kids whether they pay rent or not. Write it up you sign it, have her sign it and a witness if you can. Give her a copy you keep the original. Tough love is tough on Moms too.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:32 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Sometimes It is hard to do hard love. It has to be done though or they will just take over your house and run you out. She will have to learn the hard way that life is not easy. It is a challage just to survive in this world. Just remember to have TUFF LOVE !

    Answer by Bernie65 at 2:24 AM on Aug. 23, 2009