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Need advice?

Long story short, my DD's father and I had split up a while ago, but remained friends. Yesterday him and I got into an argument about some things and I told him that the only time I want to talk to him, is when it concerns our DD. I went to bed last night at 2 am, and about a half hour later, he stopped by my house, and came into my bedroom, drunk, and laid down on the bedroom floor. When I asked him why he was there, he freaked out, and I told him to quiet down and leave because the baby was sleeping. He continued to try to argue with me and I told him to leave again, and then he hit me. Well obviously I called the cops and everything. My question isn't anything regarding him and I. My question is about my DD who is a toddler. I obviously have to file custody paperwork, but I don't know what to do about how to deal with visitation rights? cont.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on Aug. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • If anything your biggest concern is your daughter. If you have a gut feeling not to trust him around her its your job to protect her. Always trust your instinct when it comes to your children, most of the time their right i mean you have them for that very same reason. I would let him see her but never alone, hes not in a right mind obviously if he would do something like that. He wouldnt do anything to jeopardize the welfare and wellbieng of his child if he was in his right mind. His actions say otherwise. For the love f your child just make sure he is supervised by you, if he cant handle that then there is a problem. A man can only say so much about caring for another, but if hes not willing to sacrifice some of his ways for her that shows you much more. I lived in her shoes...believe me...

    Answer by AmandaPina703 at 10:51 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • He’s my DD’s father, and I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t want anything to do with him, and I don’t want DD around him by herself. But do I really have the right to deny him from all visitation rights? Not just legally. I mean more what’s really right and wrong? I’ve never dealt with this before. I never got hit before by him, so I’m sort of at a loss. I can’t concentrate on anything lately because this issue is on my mind, and I can’t even file any of the proper court paperwork until Monday because it’s the weekend. I can’t even meditate to try to find an answer because I’m so stressed out and at a loss. Not only do I worry about all the legalities, I also worry about his mentality. cont.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Before DD was born, he tried to commit suicide. I’m just at such a loss right now. I really hope this makes sense, because trying to explain some of my emotions right now is really difficult. Please no bashing. I really need some advice. I’ve posted this in both relationships and religion and beliefs because obviously it fits into relationships, but I need help spiritually moving past this as well. (end)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Just go to your local courthouse. There is an office there that is like free legal aid. They will help you with the proper paperwork, or give you some attorney's names.

    Answer by EireLass at 9:54 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • i think he needs to have supervised visits, and most courts will order that due to the domestic voilence you cant not let him be a father to her if he wants to be in her life bc there is too many dads out there who dont want to be a father. Once she gets older and if he has been to couseling and has seeken treatment for drinking and abusing others i would allow her to visit unsipervised but as far now someone needs to be there DO NOT let him see her alone bc the abuse and easily turn to her. Good luck and just know that if he doesnt want to be a father you CAN do this and get through this.

    Answer by ggiovanni at 9:57 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • See that's the thing ggiovanni... he does want to be a father, and when he sees her, he's fine, but even though I don't think he would ever hurt her, I don't want to take that chance. I want to do supervised visitation, but I'm not sure how to do that because I personally don't want to be around him at all, and I'm not sure how to set it up so she is with someone I trust when he sees her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • call the local domestic violence shelter and ask him how to go about it. They might even have an attorney that can help

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:06 PM on Aug. 22, 2009